Intended Poetry of Fuckery.

I fully intend to make this a fucked up blog entry.
I feel really whoosh right now. Like...just go along with it.

I'm gonna try to write the dumbest poem in the century.
His name was Henry btw. He smoked Pineapples.
Now before you all judge [insert ryme here]
His mom was a dolphin, and his dad was Raviolie
He married his cat, and had 12 Rolie-Olies.
I did not make this up, that is a show.
On the Disney network, now go suck my toe.
One day, when he was walking along.
He saw a great big Gorilla wearing a tight purple thong.
"Omageez!" He exclaimed, "What could that be?!"
"My name is Mattmann" It said, "Now clean up my pee!!"
Frightened and scared and all those other things
Henry ran away fast, and found a table of kings.
One, two, three, four, these kings smelt like moose.
Five, six, seven, eight, look at me! I rap like Dr. Suess!
They, the kings, a table of eight.
All sat around and played chess "Checkmate!"
"Wow can I play?" Henry said," I'm the best that can be!"
"No, you drive trains, now clean up our pee!!"
Frightened and scared and all those other words.
Henry ran away fast, when he fell into a horde of birds!
They squack, they snatch, and they snack on your spleen.
If it wasn't for them your room would not remain clean.
I'm getting quite tired, i do not know where I'm going with this.
I should end it soon, and no! I shall not clean up your piss!
Too end this quick, lets make this dramatic.
Henry cut them and stuffed them and hid them in his attic.
When the police came, looking for the birds
all they found was great big piles of pineapple turds.
"What have you been growing here?" They wondered aloud.
"Pineapples! Now together we can reach the clouds!"
So together, they were all happy.
Until they all OD'd, yes i know, this is crappy.
But this is my story, and I'm sticking with it.
and I don't care if you liked it one bit.
Please leave a comment, I know you want to.
Or Mattmann will get you, and he'll eat your shoe.

(2006)