Once apon a time there was a man
His name was Sam
He was born apon a pile of spam in a can
Occasionally, he would smell of roast ham.
I dunno how to explain it, considering the lack of tan.
But we loved him anyways, he was such a cute little lamb.
One day he wanted to wipe the world of emo, here was his plan:
"Make like a Japanese school boy and cram!"
He would yell across to their clan.
We later found out
that instead of the usual pout
The Emo began about
A very disturbing practice with out a doubt
"NO! Oh god! I didn't mean like that!" he would shout.
And he would repeatedly strike himself with a trout.
Seeing this daring act
The Emo returned once more to their usual pact
On and on it went until their wrists were no longer intact.
Apon seeing this and his failure, Sam's Giraffe was later sacked.
When a story turns for the worse it's only right it introduce
The new top leader in produce!
Orange.
(DAMN-ange)
Well the story is not all doomed aside from that last note
Because now, I've given Sam a boat!
While pulling on his pink frilly coat,
He began to wonder how he would go about his next smote.
Meanwhile the emos continued to do as I wrote.
Currently, they were slitting each others throats!
This reminded Sam of his many pals.
So he summoned a pumpkin, oh what a gal!
She was spicey, she was dicey, and she had one hell of a kick.
She rode up fast in her orange clad Buick.
The stereo was on and techno was the music.
Her weapon of choice: A rusty toothpic.
I'm not gonna lie
The emos weren't scared, they wanted to die.
They even dared to make silly faces as they ran by.
Oh my!
They just spanked a horse, now Rachel was pissed.
"I'll cut you like an Emo!" She dissed.
Suddenly she was perplexed, as they disappeared in too a teary emo mist.
In a rage she cursed right down the list.
"Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck a Donald Duck!"
Sam was sad, I mean that's just bad luck.
Rachel's the best, everyone else is the suck.
He sent her away
and he moved to Tampa Bay
He got fatter and fatter on Fondu and Falay
Whilst on his binge he discovered the evil of bacon.
The streaks in the meat began to remind him, and he wondered where the emo were taken.
Deidcated to finding this truth he sought out a Jamacian.
He told him of unicorns, rainbows, and lepracauns.
Sam even picked up some tips on decorating his lawn.
When he got all he needed, he bid him so long.
Than the Jamacian went back to playing ping pong.
Let's hope he's not wrong
We want those Emos gone
And off he goes 'mon!
All of a sudden a Ninja sprung out of the trees
and drop kicked Sam in the back of the knees!
He was out cold, catchin' some Z's
The Ninja was crazy and roared in bloodlust
when Megan the pirate appeared in disgust
"Give me my money, you son of a bitch!"
The Ninja than skillfully rolled into a ditch
Megan ran after without a second glance
while the Ninja began the ancient fruitloop dance.
Megan was confused
and Sam still lay there quite abused
When the Ninja disappeared, very much amused.
Megan ran after
trying to get there faster
While Sam lay alone once more
He awoke quiet suddenly when he heard noise from the shore
It was the Emos! In all their splendor and lore
Determined to end this now he let out a throaty roar.
But was silenced once more by a beating with a door.
"Grr!" He muttered aghast.
when he woke up again atlast
when will this end?
will there be more suffering at the continuity of this trend?
(INCOMPLETE since 2006)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Intended Poetry of Fuckery.
I fully intend to make this a fucked up blog entry.
I feel really whoosh right now. Like...just go along with it.
I'm gonna try to write the dumbest poem in the century.
His name was Henry btw. He smoked Pineapples.
Now before you all judge [insert ryme here]
His mom was a dolphin, and his dad was Raviolie
He married his cat, and had 12 Rolie-Olies.
I did not make this up, that is a show.
On the Disney network, now go suck my toe.
One day, when he was walking along.
He saw a great big Gorilla wearing a tight purple thong.
"Omageez!" He exclaimed, "What could that be?!"
"My name is Mattmann" It said, "Now clean up my pee!!"
Frightened and scared and all those other things
Henry ran away fast, and found a table of kings.
One, two, three, four, these kings smelt like moose.
Five, six, seven, eight, look at me! I rap like Dr. Suess!
They, the kings, a table of eight.
All sat around and played chess "Checkmate!"
"Wow can I play?" Henry said," I'm the best that can be!"
"No, you drive trains, now clean up our pee!!"
Frightened and scared and all those other words.
Henry ran away fast, when he fell into a horde of birds!
They squack, they snatch, and they snack on your spleen.
If it wasn't for them your room would not remain clean.
I'm getting quite tired, i do not know where I'm going with this.
I should end it soon, and no! I shall not clean up your piss!
Too end this quick, lets make this dramatic.
Henry cut them and stuffed them and hid them in his attic.
When the police came, looking for the birds
all they found was great big piles of pineapple turds.
"What have you been growing here?" They wondered aloud.
"Pineapples! Now together we can reach the clouds!"
So together, they were all happy.
Until they all OD'd, yes i know, this is crappy.
But this is my story, and I'm sticking with it.
and I don't care if you liked it one bit.
Please leave a comment, I know you want to.
Or Mattmann will get you, and he'll eat your shoe.
(2006)
I feel really whoosh right now. Like...just go along with it.
I'm gonna try to write the dumbest poem in the century.
His name was Henry btw. He smoked Pineapples.
Now before you all judge [insert ryme here]
His mom was a dolphin, and his dad was Raviolie
He married his cat, and had 12 Rolie-Olies.
I did not make this up, that is a show.
On the Disney network, now go suck my toe.
One day, when he was walking along.
He saw a great big Gorilla wearing a tight purple thong.
"Omageez!" He exclaimed, "What could that be?!"
"My name is Mattmann" It said, "Now clean up my pee!!"
Frightened and scared and all those other things
Henry ran away fast, and found a table of kings.
One, two, three, four, these kings smelt like moose.
Five, six, seven, eight, look at me! I rap like Dr. Suess!
They, the kings, a table of eight.
All sat around and played chess "Checkmate!"
"Wow can I play?" Henry said," I'm the best that can be!"
"No, you drive trains, now clean up our pee!!"
Frightened and scared and all those other words.
Henry ran away fast, when he fell into a horde of birds!
They squack, they snatch, and they snack on your spleen.
If it wasn't for them your room would not remain clean.
I'm getting quite tired, i do not know where I'm going with this.
I should end it soon, and no! I shall not clean up your piss!
Too end this quick, lets make this dramatic.
Henry cut them and stuffed them and hid them in his attic.
When the police came, looking for the birds
all they found was great big piles of pineapple turds.
"What have you been growing here?" They wondered aloud.
"Pineapples! Now together we can reach the clouds!"
So together, they were all happy.
Until they all OD'd, yes i know, this is crappy.
But this is my story, and I'm sticking with it.
and I don't care if you liked it one bit.
Please leave a comment, I know you want to.
Or Mattmann will get you, and he'll eat your shoe.
(2006)
Monday, June 29, 2009
Meet the Cast of AW
ODNURG: Hellllooo Portayvon! Today we are proud to--
Grundo: Wait, we're on Portayvon? Since when? It's the most unoriginal, stupidest…
ODNURG: OMGIT'SAWORKINPROGESSSTFU.
Grundo: K.
ODNURG: Anyway, as I was saying earlier before I was rudely interrupted…
Grundo: >:[
ODNURG: We have the cast of Another World here for a special interview to help us all learn more about this…fascinating…project.
Grundo: Uhh. Right. So the cast issss?
ODNURG: Without further ado, let me introduce you too-..well, you know him already, Max Silverlight!
Max Silverlight: Well, not really…we never did finish my first interv--
ODNURG: Next we have the lovely Demi Vastille!
Demi Vastille: Unfortunately of course.
ODNURG:…right, and than we have a newcomer with us today, Angel!
Angel: …
ODNURG: And last but not least we have--uh, what the hell does this say? Damnit, Esod. *Grumbling* Why are we doing this thing if it's not figured out already…they don't provide me enough Mountain Dew for this shit…
LOLWORKINPROGESS: Is that my name? Wow…
Grundo: *Ahem* Well, as it has been stated a few times earlier…Esod really doesn't have much figured out yet…and this is her pathetic attempt to brainstorm.
ODNURG: Shhh. Don't let her hear you, or she'll force us to act in a Digimon/Harvest Moon mad roleplay crossover!
Grundo: o.o
Demi Vastille: :O
Angel: Omg…
Max Silverlight: *cries* It's already happened to meee…
ODNURG: Hahaha. Sick. Anyways, why don't one of you tell us a little bit about the setting of this thing?
LOLWORKINPROGESS: Well, from what I've heard…it's still a work in progress…
ODNURG: …….*Proceeds to attempt strangulation on self with a hair dryer*
Grundo: Okay, while that's going on, Angel, since we don't know you at all, how about telling us a little about yourself?
Angel: My name is absolutely horrendous and I refuse to star in this thing unless it is changed to something far more respectable and original.
Demi Vastille: Pffft. Like what, Max Silverlight?
Max Silverlight: Hey! I've had this name for 6 years! Six long years…
Demi Vastille: And it's so gary-stu of you that Microsoft named a program after you!
Max Silverlight: Wait, what?
Demi Vastille: Yeap. You're infringing on copyright mister.
Bill Gates owns this: OH MY GOD is nothing my own?
ODNURG: Lol no.
Angel: …apparently I'm skilled in some sort of hand-to-hand combat. How this plays out in the end, I'm not sure. I'm also introverted, could give a rats ass about any one of you, enjoy reading, and I'm female.
Grundo: Oh, yeah! The interview, uh so, how did you meet the rest of the cast?
Angel: In the warehouse where Esod keeps us all locked up and only feeds us once a week wherein the meals consist mostly of Miley Cyrus's vocal cords.
Grundo: Nooo.No. I meant in the story?
ODNURG: You guys get her vocal cords? Man, we get fed her father's goate…
Grundo: Moar lyke, goatse am I right?
Angel: …we were raised in the same training school apparently. What this has to do with anything I don't know.
ODNURG: lmfaobbq, the goate is a lie.
Grundo: Laaaaaaaawl.
Angel: …*Sigh*
Demi Vastille: Well this interview officially sucks, when can I go home?
ODNURG: Ah, right! So Max, how did you get roped into this one eh?
Max Silverlight: They were strong ropes…to strong to break out of…
Grundo: Awww. So being overused is no biggie to you anymore right? You'll be the lead male again for the bazillionth time! Most likely paired off romantically with Demi I'm assuming…
Demi Vastille: FUCK NO.
Grundo: ..and than when this thing is all said and done, you've got another million stories to be involved with later right?
Max Silverlight: Can I just…not, be in this one?
Everyone: lololololololol no.
Max Silverlight: :C
Grundo: Wait, we're on Portayvon? Since when? It's the most unoriginal, stupidest…
ODNURG: OMGIT'SAWORKINPROGESSSTFU.
Grundo: K.
ODNURG: Anyway, as I was saying earlier before I was rudely interrupted…
Grundo: >:[
ODNURG: We have the cast of Another World here for a special interview to help us all learn more about this…fascinating…project.
Grundo: Uhh. Right. So the cast issss?
ODNURG: Without further ado, let me introduce you too-..well, you know him already, Max Silverlight!
Max Silverlight: Well, not really…we never did finish my first interv--
ODNURG: Next we have the lovely Demi Vastille!
Demi Vastille: Unfortunately of course.
ODNURG:…right, and than we have a newcomer with us today, Angel!
Angel: …
ODNURG: And last but not least we have--uh, what the hell does this say? Damnit, Esod. *Grumbling* Why are we doing this thing if it's not figured out already…they don't provide me enough Mountain Dew for this shit…
LOLWORKINPROGESS: Is that my name? Wow…
Grundo: *Ahem* Well, as it has been stated a few times earlier…Esod really doesn't have much figured out yet…and this is her pathetic attempt to brainstorm.
ODNURG: Shhh. Don't let her hear you, or she'll force us to act in a Digimon/Harvest Moon mad roleplay crossover!
Grundo: o.o
Demi Vastille: :O
Angel: Omg…
Max Silverlight: *cries* It's already happened to meee…
ODNURG: Hahaha. Sick. Anyways, why don't one of you tell us a little bit about the setting of this thing?
LOLWORKINPROGESS: Well, from what I've heard…it's still a work in progress…
ODNURG: …….*Proceeds to attempt strangulation on self with a hair dryer*
Grundo: Okay, while that's going on, Angel, since we don't know you at all, how about telling us a little about yourself?
Angel: My name is absolutely horrendous and I refuse to star in this thing unless it is changed to something far more respectable and original.
Demi Vastille: Pffft. Like what, Max Silverlight?
Max Silverlight: Hey! I've had this name for 6 years! Six long years…
Demi Vastille: And it's so gary-stu of you that Microsoft named a program after you!
Max Silverlight: Wait, what?
Demi Vastille: Yeap. You're infringing on copyright mister.
Bill Gates owns this: OH MY GOD is nothing my own?
ODNURG: Lol no.
Angel: …apparently I'm skilled in some sort of hand-to-hand combat. How this plays out in the end, I'm not sure. I'm also introverted, could give a rats ass about any one of you, enjoy reading, and I'm female.
Grundo: Oh, yeah! The interview, uh so, how did you meet the rest of the cast?
Angel: In the warehouse where Esod keeps us all locked up and only feeds us once a week wherein the meals consist mostly of Miley Cyrus's vocal cords.
Grundo: Nooo.No. I meant in the story?
ODNURG: You guys get her vocal cords? Man, we get fed her father's goate…
Grundo: Moar lyke, goatse am I right?
Angel: …we were raised in the same training school apparently. What this has to do with anything I don't know.
ODNURG: lmfaobbq, the goate is a lie.
Grundo: Laaaaaaaawl.
Angel: …*Sigh*
Demi Vastille: Well this interview officially sucks, when can I go home?
ODNURG: Ah, right! So Max, how did you get roped into this one eh?
Max Silverlight: They were strong ropes…to strong to break out of…
Grundo: Awww. So being overused is no biggie to you anymore right? You'll be the lead male again for the bazillionth time! Most likely paired off romantically with Demi I'm assuming…
Demi Vastille: FUCK NO.
Grundo: ..and than when this thing is all said and done, you've got another million stories to be involved with later right?
Max Silverlight: Can I just…not, be in this one?
Everyone: lololololololol no.
Max Silverlight: :C
Thursday, May 28, 2009
IOM- Chekov's Gun.
"Alright, Sally is it? Let me just scan your card please, then we'll let you on through."
The women nodded and gave the security guard a shy smile. Her eyes, which were covered by black frames, never left the floor. The guard could not help but steal a couple of glances her way while he scanned her card. He was somewhat fascinated by her inherent likability. She seemed to be slightly awkward, fidgeting with her hands and slightly bouncing on her heels, nibbling her bottom lip as she looked around uncomfortably. She came off as one of those quirky brainiacs who wouldn't hurt a fly but wouldn't know how to talk to one either. He smiled to himself as he looked away, about to push the button to let her on through when the screen in front of him flashed red. Her I.D. card had been denied.
"Hmm."
The guard flipped the card between his fingers, glancing briefly at the information. Sally Cahill, Clearance level B, Administrative. Nothing out of the ordinary, although it was an unusually high clearance level for someone just starting out. He wouldn't use the term 'paranoid' but the facility tended to cater to those who had established trust with the company. All completely understandable on their end of course. Maybe she had ties with a different branch of the company; she looked smart enough to have been employed for a couple of years previously.
The women looked up at him, blinking absentmindedly before asking in a soft casual voice, "Is there anything wrong?"
The guard looked at the card again before holding it up for her to see.
"It appears your I.D. card didn't go through with the system…." He replied. Catching the flush of her cheeks and the way her face contorted into despair, he quickly added," But don't worry. If you're new, I suppose the system just hasn't updated yet or something."
Her hand forcibly shook as she pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose, her cheeks still pink with embarrassment. She could barely contain the quiver in her voice, "I-I'm not going to be late am I?"
Suddenly her eyes widened, and her voice rose in panic, "Oh no, please, not on my first day." She wasn't talking to him in particular at this point, wringing her hands nervously as she continued," This is just great. Just perfect. Way to make a good first impression, Sally. God if I even still have the job after this It'll be a miracle."
The guard was a little taken aback by her sudden change from shy and awkward to visibly distraught. He supposed it all had to do with the heightened nerves of the First Day. He remembered those days almost fondly, how uncomfortable it was to walk into a brand new environment and new people. Without any established relationships, one could feel alone and isolated from everyone else. Something told him this woman was probably all too aware of this and was understandably scared.
He couldn't help but chuckle at how much he indentified with this poor girl. She gave him a curious look before he quickly reassured her, "Ah, sorry. It's just, you remind me of me on my First Day. I didn't have any problems with my card, but I kept setting off the metal detector before I realized I had a spare key in my back pocket. Jesus, the guy looked like he was ready to rip my head off. Probably thought I was concealing something dangerous and was getting all worked up." He chuckled again, and the women forced a small shaky smile.
"Listen, I'll just punch you through kiddo. Lord knows you'll probably have bigger things to worry about today." He smiled brightly at her as he handed the card back, ushering her through the gate.
She fumbled with the card in her hands and nodded appreciatively, flashing him a warm smile as she walked through.
"Thank you so much, you don't know how much you saved me just now."
He couldn't help but swell proudly at this. The thought of making her day pushed him on.
"No problem, you have a good day now, you hear? Our first days always start off on the wrong foot, but they always get better. You'll see."
She nodded again and waved merrily at him, "I will! Thanks again!"
The guard looked like he was about to say something else, but the women walked on. It wasn't until she was successfully out of view that she let her smile drop. Her eyes lost their sparkle, replaced by a new determination. Her whole body relaxed, swaying as she moved, losing the uptight awkwardness of before. The first move had been played, and Ada already grew weary. She was tired of the game, no longer finding amusement in the way she was able to mold people's behavior to benefit the outcome. Now all she was left with was an uncomfortable feeling that she was only starting to get used to.
What's this Ada, concerned for the poor fellow? Sure, he appeared to be decent enough, but decent people would never find themselves involved with all of this. Just hope for the poor bastard’s sake he wizes up and gets himself off this godforsaken island before it’s too late.
Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about playing him if my I.D. card didn't nearly blow my cover.
She would deal with the operative responsible for that little screw up later. She was all for playing the innocent naïve girl, but she always hated having to take it up a notch to full on 'incompetently unaware' and thus helpless. If there was one thing about Ada that always remained consistent, it was her unshakeable pride. And having to cover up for someone else's mistakes never sat well with her either.
...
INCOMPLETE
((2009))
The women nodded and gave the security guard a shy smile. Her eyes, which were covered by black frames, never left the floor. The guard could not help but steal a couple of glances her way while he scanned her card. He was somewhat fascinated by her inherent likability. She seemed to be slightly awkward, fidgeting with her hands and slightly bouncing on her heels, nibbling her bottom lip as she looked around uncomfortably. She came off as one of those quirky brainiacs who wouldn't hurt a fly but wouldn't know how to talk to one either. He smiled to himself as he looked away, about to push the button to let her on through when the screen in front of him flashed red. Her I.D. card had been denied.
"Hmm."
The guard flipped the card between his fingers, glancing briefly at the information. Sally Cahill, Clearance level B, Administrative. Nothing out of the ordinary, although it was an unusually high clearance level for someone just starting out. He wouldn't use the term 'paranoid' but the facility tended to cater to those who had established trust with the company. All completely understandable on their end of course. Maybe she had ties with a different branch of the company; she looked smart enough to have been employed for a couple of years previously.
The women looked up at him, blinking absentmindedly before asking in a soft casual voice, "Is there anything wrong?"
The guard looked at the card again before holding it up for her to see.
"It appears your I.D. card didn't go through with the system…." He replied. Catching the flush of her cheeks and the way her face contorted into despair, he quickly added," But don't worry. If you're new, I suppose the system just hasn't updated yet or something."
Her hand forcibly shook as she pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose, her cheeks still pink with embarrassment. She could barely contain the quiver in her voice, "I-I'm not going to be late am I?"
Suddenly her eyes widened, and her voice rose in panic, "Oh no, please, not on my first day." She wasn't talking to him in particular at this point, wringing her hands nervously as she continued," This is just great. Just perfect. Way to make a good first impression, Sally. God if I even still have the job after this It'll be a miracle."
The guard was a little taken aback by her sudden change from shy and awkward to visibly distraught. He supposed it all had to do with the heightened nerves of the First Day. He remembered those days almost fondly, how uncomfortable it was to walk into a brand new environment and new people. Without any established relationships, one could feel alone and isolated from everyone else. Something told him this woman was probably all too aware of this and was understandably scared.
He couldn't help but chuckle at how much he indentified with this poor girl. She gave him a curious look before he quickly reassured her, "Ah, sorry. It's just, you remind me of me on my First Day. I didn't have any problems with my card, but I kept setting off the metal detector before I realized I had a spare key in my back pocket. Jesus, the guy looked like he was ready to rip my head off. Probably thought I was concealing something dangerous and was getting all worked up." He chuckled again, and the women forced a small shaky smile.
"Listen, I'll just punch you through kiddo. Lord knows you'll probably have bigger things to worry about today." He smiled brightly at her as he handed the card back, ushering her through the gate.
She fumbled with the card in her hands and nodded appreciatively, flashing him a warm smile as she walked through.
"Thank you so much, you don't know how much you saved me just now."
He couldn't help but swell proudly at this. The thought of making her day pushed him on.
"No problem, you have a good day now, you hear? Our first days always start off on the wrong foot, but they always get better. You'll see."
She nodded again and waved merrily at him, "I will! Thanks again!"
The guard looked like he was about to say something else, but the women walked on. It wasn't until she was successfully out of view that she let her smile drop. Her eyes lost their sparkle, replaced by a new determination. Her whole body relaxed, swaying as she moved, losing the uptight awkwardness of before. The first move had been played, and Ada already grew weary. She was tired of the game, no longer finding amusement in the way she was able to mold people's behavior to benefit the outcome. Now all she was left with was an uncomfortable feeling that she was only starting to get used to.
What's this Ada, concerned for the poor fellow? Sure, he appeared to be decent enough, but decent people would never find themselves involved with all of this. Just hope for the poor bastard’s sake he wizes up and gets himself off this godforsaken island before it’s too late.
Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about playing him if my I.D. card didn't nearly blow my cover.
She would deal with the operative responsible for that little screw up later. She was all for playing the innocent naïve girl, but she always hated having to take it up a notch to full on 'incompetently unaware' and thus helpless. If there was one thing about Ada that always remained consistent, it was her unshakeable pride. And having to cover up for someone else's mistakes never sat well with her either.
...
INCOMPLETE
((2009))
TODM- First draft 2007.
“There had been a huge rumble that spread throughout the entire ship. At the time I didn’t understand what had happened. I was so young. I figured…it was a bump in the hyperspace or something…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stepping into an orange mist that rose up from the dusty ground, a lone figure stood examining the waste that lay before it. A strong scent of copper filled the air as the figure began to walk amoung the wreckage. Every step that was taken arrived at many corpses, all that were battered at the cost of an unknown bloodshed. The figure than stopped, basking in the smell and silent chaos that eminated from the recent carnage, laughing as it carried off alone into the unknown. Suddenly, without warning, a sharp surgical charge forced it’s way from below, wafting amoung the dead, bringing light to what had occurred, fueling a rage…-
Pandora awoke with a start, wiping cold sweat from her brow and looking around for whatever had jarred her awake. Her answer came with another shake from the vessel, this time also awakening the alarm system on her father’s ship to scream at her in defiance.
Slightly irritated, Pandora rolled over, wishing to fall back to sleep, covering her own ears in layers of soft fluffy pillows.
That stupid alarm, Pandora thought angrily, always going off at the slightest disturbance. I was having such a strange dream…
Cursing the pilot, Pandora closed her eyes once more, trying to recall what she had seen. It was so sinister…and she couldn’t help but be drawn to it. It had almost felt like she had actually been there, like it was actually-
Real. Pandora finished, pressing two fingers against a lightly throbbing pain on the side of her head.
The alarm continued to scream, this time accompanied by another rumble and hurried footsteps outside her door. Pandora sat up eagerly, a small twinge of fear spreading through her body. Surely they would have been out of this by now…
More footsteps ran by, this time Pandora didn’t stop to analyze it. Sweeping her bare feet across her bed and touching down on the cold chrom floor, she threw on a light blue night gown that matched perfectly with her sparkling blue eyes. Decision made, Pandora flung open the door and dashed out into the hall.
There were few people running, all in the same direction as more hurried others began to scramble out of their rooms, a look of utter confusion on all of their faces.
“What’s going on?!” One shrill women asked seemingly to the flashing red light of warning in the bending halls. There was no reply, however, as more people were swept up in the chaos of those abandoning their shelters.
Pandora stood in the middle of the hall, as people pushed by screaming. The sound echoing in her ears, as another jar from the ship caused a frantic scramble of electrical current to crawl amoung the walls. And just was her heart suddenly sped up, pounding her veins with adrenaline and fear, the lights went out.
“What in the bloody hell is going on?” She managed to shreik as one last body brushed past.
With the darkness came silence. Her skin crawling and heart pounding wildly in her throat, Pandora gradually shuffled away in the direction she knew to be the main deck.
She began to shiver, as her bare feet tredged the chilling floor. Holding her night gown close to her small body she froze, her eyes catching a flicker of electric output as the power struggled to work. Shaking her head of the vision she thought she had seen in that breif moment of light, she took another step on her journey for answers.
Something warm and sticky crawled between her toes. Pausing again, Pandora tried desperately to see what she had stumbled apon. She tried not to let her mind wander to far, closing her eyes and nibbling her lower lip, she couldn’t bare to handle what she knew in her pulsating heart to be true.
And than she heard it. The sound of a powerful weapon, than followed by a resounding thud somewhere in front of her. She could barely breathe as the air ran from her lungs in terror as she quickly dropped to her hands and knees. Her body shook uncontrollably as she once again felt the same warm and sticky substnace under hands and legs, it’s identity now brutally confirmed.
The ground around her felt like it was falling away beneath her, as she desperately tried to regulate her breathing and calm down. Her lungs were working furiously against her and Pandora feared with all certainty that whomever had fired that weapon could hear as well as she, the blood pounding in her ears, throbbing away at any courage she once had apon folded out before Pandora, her head unwillingly met the hard floor, and she was greeted once more by darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the second time that day, Pandora awoke with a lingering dream. This one wasn’t any different from the last either. Someone was dead, she didn’t know who or what. Everything was dark and strange and…oh wait.
When she opened her eyes she found herself to be in a place of unfamiliarity. It was near empty, with almost no home décor to speak of. What was present in the small rectangular room, was none all to drab. She had awoken on someone else’s lumpy mat and cluttered around her were boxes full of unknown contents that altogether made her uneasy.
And that’s when the headache arrived.
Instinctively, she brought a shaky hand to her head, only to feel the stickiness again. Looking down on her hand as she drew it back and disentangled it from her hair, she saw the deep shade of red that had once been on the floor of her father’s ship.
She took in a deep rattling breath as she realized she was no longer on her father’s ship, The Messenger. Not to mention the fact that she was covered in someone else’s blood.
The thought alone should freak her out to no end, but she couldn’t help but feel far to tired to focus on the entirety of the situation. Since Pandora was a young girl the littlest things could spawn a tantrum that the whole planet could feel. Once when she was playing in the quiet meadow behind her home, she had only just been running through the tall grass when her childhood friend Max, who was hiding at the time, snuck up on her and pushed her screaming to the ground. She screamed for what felt like hours until her mother finally came running and gracefully scooped her daughter in her arms. He mother was the only one who could ever calm her down.
To now sit silently after all that had happened in what seemed such a short time, frightened her a little. She knew that the person she left back on The Messenger would not nearly be as calm as she felt now.
As she sat silently in the room, her mind wandered freely. What had happened? Why was she still alive? Does her father yet know of what occurred only so long ago? Would he come for her, or had he already?
She knew deep down there wasn’t much to rely on when it came to her father. He was selfish, a big talker who only protected his own interests at hand, which apparently did not include Pandora or her mother. For as long as she remembered, her father’s priority was first and foremost: politics. He would spend nearly all day spent in his private chambers, in complete secrecy, with only his most trusted assisstants. This left only Pandora and her mother together, shut out of her father’s life. Always hoping that on day he would let them in.
Pandora thought that it would always be just her and her mother. Thinking back on it now, she tensed, clenching her fists and pressing her lips together to form a tight line of distress.
She would never forgive her mother.
Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard stubtle footfalls arriving closer to the door that held her in the room she waited.
Come to think of it, did I even TRY the door? Pandora closed her eyes and groaned to herself. Obviously the strain of whatever seemed to be happening to her lately had caused her to lose all common sense. Or, you know, common sense would be to assume the door was heavily bolted or barraged to keep even the little tantrum girl she only just used to be inside…
I could have atleast tried…She mumbled, while the footsteps stopped outside her door.
“Oh hell…” Escaped her lips as she turned, annoyed as the door opened with ease, apparently with no hinderance whatsoever.
The door swung open slowly, and there left standing was a young man who appeared to be the same age as she. He had shaggy sandy blonde hair that stretched past his eyebrows only just hiding the very top of his eyes, which surprisingly enough, carried a boyish innocence that was left dancing in their deep blue hues…He held himself with a casualness that was almost arrogant, a sly smirk playing across his lips as he gazed at her.
“Funny, I’d imagine my first princess to be somewhat more…graceful perhaps?” He closed his eyes a moment and shook his head, still smiling.
A new realization hit Pandora, as fear began to trickle quickly down her neck.
Startled, she babbled,”If you touch me…I-I swear I’ll-”
“What? Call Daddy on me?” He laughed a little as she shut her mouth and looked at him questioningly.
“Besides…” He began reaching into the pocket of his vest and pulling out an exotic looking fruit, “you’re not really my type. I prefer the low maintenance kind of girls.”
“Okay so…” Pandora paused as she watched him take a bite out of the bulbous purple fruit, the site of the citrus reminding her stomach that it had yet to be fed.
“Hmm.” He swallowed,” Wondering why I suppose? Actually, you weren’t originally part of the plan. Imagine our surprise when we hit your father’s ship and found you aboard. Honestly, we never thought he’d be that stupid…especially after all the threats we made. He must not have cared for you that much, to leave you so unprotected like that. Ah well, that just means more of a reward for me.”
This was all news to Pandora as she stared at him, wide-eyed. “I didn’t hear about any threats.”
...
((2006-2007))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stepping into an orange mist that rose up from the dusty ground, a lone figure stood examining the waste that lay before it. A strong scent of copper filled the air as the figure began to walk amoung the wreckage. Every step that was taken arrived at many corpses, all that were battered at the cost of an unknown bloodshed. The figure than stopped, basking in the smell and silent chaos that eminated from the recent carnage, laughing as it carried off alone into the unknown. Suddenly, without warning, a sharp surgical charge forced it’s way from below, wafting amoung the dead, bringing light to what had occurred, fueling a rage…-
Pandora awoke with a start, wiping cold sweat from her brow and looking around for whatever had jarred her awake. Her answer came with another shake from the vessel, this time also awakening the alarm system on her father’s ship to scream at her in defiance.
Slightly irritated, Pandora rolled over, wishing to fall back to sleep, covering her own ears in layers of soft fluffy pillows.
That stupid alarm, Pandora thought angrily, always going off at the slightest disturbance. I was having such a strange dream…
Cursing the pilot, Pandora closed her eyes once more, trying to recall what she had seen. It was so sinister…and she couldn’t help but be drawn to it. It had almost felt like she had actually been there, like it was actually-
Real. Pandora finished, pressing two fingers against a lightly throbbing pain on the side of her head.
The alarm continued to scream, this time accompanied by another rumble and hurried footsteps outside her door. Pandora sat up eagerly, a small twinge of fear spreading through her body. Surely they would have been out of this by now…
More footsteps ran by, this time Pandora didn’t stop to analyze it. Sweeping her bare feet across her bed and touching down on the cold chrom floor, she threw on a light blue night gown that matched perfectly with her sparkling blue eyes. Decision made, Pandora flung open the door and dashed out into the hall.
There were few people running, all in the same direction as more hurried others began to scramble out of their rooms, a look of utter confusion on all of their faces.
“What’s going on?!” One shrill women asked seemingly to the flashing red light of warning in the bending halls. There was no reply, however, as more people were swept up in the chaos of those abandoning their shelters.
Pandora stood in the middle of the hall, as people pushed by screaming. The sound echoing in her ears, as another jar from the ship caused a frantic scramble of electrical current to crawl amoung the walls. And just was her heart suddenly sped up, pounding her veins with adrenaline and fear, the lights went out.
“What in the bloody hell is going on?” She managed to shreik as one last body brushed past.
With the darkness came silence. Her skin crawling and heart pounding wildly in her throat, Pandora gradually shuffled away in the direction she knew to be the main deck.
She began to shiver, as her bare feet tredged the chilling floor. Holding her night gown close to her small body she froze, her eyes catching a flicker of electric output as the power struggled to work. Shaking her head of the vision she thought she had seen in that breif moment of light, she took another step on her journey for answers.
Something warm and sticky crawled between her toes. Pausing again, Pandora tried desperately to see what she had stumbled apon. She tried not to let her mind wander to far, closing her eyes and nibbling her lower lip, she couldn’t bare to handle what she knew in her pulsating heart to be true.
And than she heard it. The sound of a powerful weapon, than followed by a resounding thud somewhere in front of her. She could barely breathe as the air ran from her lungs in terror as she quickly dropped to her hands and knees. Her body shook uncontrollably as she once again felt the same warm and sticky substnace under hands and legs, it’s identity now brutally confirmed.
The ground around her felt like it was falling away beneath her, as she desperately tried to regulate her breathing and calm down. Her lungs were working furiously against her and Pandora feared with all certainty that whomever had fired that weapon could hear as well as she, the blood pounding in her ears, throbbing away at any courage she once had apon folded out before Pandora, her head unwillingly met the hard floor, and she was greeted once more by darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the second time that day, Pandora awoke with a lingering dream. This one wasn’t any different from the last either. Someone was dead, she didn’t know who or what. Everything was dark and strange and…oh wait.
When she opened her eyes she found herself to be in a place of unfamiliarity. It was near empty, with almost no home décor to speak of. What was present in the small rectangular room, was none all to drab. She had awoken on someone else’s lumpy mat and cluttered around her were boxes full of unknown contents that altogether made her uneasy.
And that’s when the headache arrived.
Instinctively, she brought a shaky hand to her head, only to feel the stickiness again. Looking down on her hand as she drew it back and disentangled it from her hair, she saw the deep shade of red that had once been on the floor of her father’s ship.
She took in a deep rattling breath as she realized she was no longer on her father’s ship, The Messenger. Not to mention the fact that she was covered in someone else’s blood.
The thought alone should freak her out to no end, but she couldn’t help but feel far to tired to focus on the entirety of the situation. Since Pandora was a young girl the littlest things could spawn a tantrum that the whole planet could feel. Once when she was playing in the quiet meadow behind her home, she had only just been running through the tall grass when her childhood friend Max, who was hiding at the time, snuck up on her and pushed her screaming to the ground. She screamed for what felt like hours until her mother finally came running and gracefully scooped her daughter in her arms. He mother was the only one who could ever calm her down.
To now sit silently after all that had happened in what seemed such a short time, frightened her a little. She knew that the person she left back on The Messenger would not nearly be as calm as she felt now.
As she sat silently in the room, her mind wandered freely. What had happened? Why was she still alive? Does her father yet know of what occurred only so long ago? Would he come for her, or had he already?
She knew deep down there wasn’t much to rely on when it came to her father. He was selfish, a big talker who only protected his own interests at hand, which apparently did not include Pandora or her mother. For as long as she remembered, her father’s priority was first and foremost: politics. He would spend nearly all day spent in his private chambers, in complete secrecy, with only his most trusted assisstants. This left only Pandora and her mother together, shut out of her father’s life. Always hoping that on day he would let them in.
Pandora thought that it would always be just her and her mother. Thinking back on it now, she tensed, clenching her fists and pressing her lips together to form a tight line of distress.
She would never forgive her mother.
Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard stubtle footfalls arriving closer to the door that held her in the room she waited.
Come to think of it, did I even TRY the door? Pandora closed her eyes and groaned to herself. Obviously the strain of whatever seemed to be happening to her lately had caused her to lose all common sense. Or, you know, common sense would be to assume the door was heavily bolted or barraged to keep even the little tantrum girl she only just used to be inside…
I could have atleast tried…She mumbled, while the footsteps stopped outside her door.
“Oh hell…” Escaped her lips as she turned, annoyed as the door opened with ease, apparently with no hinderance whatsoever.
The door swung open slowly, and there left standing was a young man who appeared to be the same age as she. He had shaggy sandy blonde hair that stretched past his eyebrows only just hiding the very top of his eyes, which surprisingly enough, carried a boyish innocence that was left dancing in their deep blue hues…He held himself with a casualness that was almost arrogant, a sly smirk playing across his lips as he gazed at her.
“Funny, I’d imagine my first princess to be somewhat more…graceful perhaps?” He closed his eyes a moment and shook his head, still smiling.
A new realization hit Pandora, as fear began to trickle quickly down her neck.
Startled, she babbled,”If you touch me…I-I swear I’ll-”
“What? Call Daddy on me?” He laughed a little as she shut her mouth and looked at him questioningly.
“Besides…” He began reaching into the pocket of his vest and pulling out an exotic looking fruit, “you’re not really my type. I prefer the low maintenance kind of girls.”
“Okay so…” Pandora paused as she watched him take a bite out of the bulbous purple fruit, the site of the citrus reminding her stomach that it had yet to be fed.
“Hmm.” He swallowed,” Wondering why I suppose? Actually, you weren’t originally part of the plan. Imagine our surprise when we hit your father’s ship and found you aboard. Honestly, we never thought he’d be that stupid…especially after all the threats we made. He must not have cared for you that much, to leave you so unprotected like that. Ah well, that just means more of a reward for me.”
This was all news to Pandora as she stared at him, wide-eyed. “I didn’t hear about any threats.”
...
((2006-2007))
Chronicles of a Teenage Moron.
Every great story that has any profound meaning in this world relies on one lasting element of storytelling: The Quest. The first written story ever discovered involves the vigilance of Gilgamesh on his journey for immortality. King Arthur and his fellow knights spent countless years on the search for the Holy Grail. Me? All I have truly ever searched for is the highest of any social implication. The heart and soul of my inner being, the always forgiving and understanding counterpart, my ally against the world, the jelly to my peanut butter; my best friend. I can safely say that though it is of highest yearning that I obtain this being of grandeur, the lengths of which I have been searching have been minimal. Though I want nothing more than the Pooh to my Christopher Robin, Chewbacca to my Han Solo, or the Marie to my Donny Osmond, I have done nothing but scorn at those who have what I do not. Rather than actively solidifying my own friendships, I took up the annoying pretense of jealousy whenever I so much as witnessed two friends comfortable enough to share the same beverage. You may assume than, that I was both far too high-strung, slightly unstable, or a bit of a prat. I’d concede that I just might have been a bit of all three. Thankfully, it is safe to say that I haven’t always been this way and may or may not have once had the super rare best friend already in my possession. I know, shocking. It all started back in 1st grade…
The first day of school is one of those classic moments in life that you know you’re just never going to forget…unfortunately for me, I forgot everything only just a few years later. I suppose, as an oblivious six year old, the inner workings of school life just doesn’t matter all that much. Not to mention that I couldn’t possibly comprehend the fact that all of these years later, my life would STILL be predominately based upon my schooling. That child back in the 1st grade would have found this absolutely ridiculous, and would have thought that the ridiculing of her fellow classmates was far more troublesome.
My hair French braided with my favorite Minnie Mouse binders, the small plaid uniform dress hanging most uncomfortably on my body, and my small hand clutching a pink lunchbox featuring an epic visual of Mickey Mouse, the heroic knight, rescuing Minnie; I entered the beginning of the rest of my life most awkwardly. As I am now, I know I was most shy. I believe I took my seat immediately, possibly escorted by hugs and kisses of encouragement from my mother, which I still treasure accordingly to this day. I didn’t know anyone in class except for the bubbly blonde head of curls sitting somewhere close by. Her name was Rikki, and our mothers had been acquaintances when we went through the same kindergarten school before transferring here though never meeting before now. We became instant friends and were inseparable once the bell for recess sounded.
Though I remember quite clearly how I met Rikki, one case still leaves me quite confused to this day. There was one other similarly quirky character in our class and before I could even consciously recognize what I remember now as a small bespectacled little Asian boy with a precise bowl cut of jet-black hair; Trung had already conquered our hearts and all three of us were instantly one. Perhaps the universe had re-aligned, and our souls were always fated to meet, forever journeying together toward a common path through salvation and peace throughout the world. Or, you know, they both thought my lunchbox was really cool. I know I did.
Since our somewhat less than memorable meeting, the three of us had begun to weave our own world together. Instead of playing soccer with all of the normal kids, we were rather more inclined to open our own snow sculpture shop, act as security guards patrolling the entrance to a giant mountain of ice, and re-enact our favorite episodes of Pokemon. Everyone around us thought we were all a bit bonkers, but we knew the truth; One day very soon, we were going to conquer the world with an army of cheese and then everybody would be sorry.
Unfortunately, our schemes were put to an abrupt standstill when I left the school during the summer before entering 5th grade due to considerably questionable acts by the school’s daycare service. I never got to wish my cohorts good luck or partake in a teary goodbye; instead, I had simply vanished and never showed up on the first day of 5th grade. For all Rikki and Trung could have known, I probably got my letter to Hogwarts as I had always said I would.
After that sudden transition in my life where I entered the public school system full throttle, it seems that I left a part of myself behind. I went through the rest of my middle school years in a daze, with no real friends that I could ever ‘play’ with. I was desperate for somebody, who I could rely on, to journey to that other world with me. Years passed and that world began to fade. I began making my way through life with the support of simple friends, living through an existence where I was merely content, not exactly living up to my old standards. It wasn’t until the fall of my sophomore year of high school that Fate finally stepped in. Once more in service to the greater good of the world and all those poor souls in need of the heroes it once so greatly revered, Fate had finally put it all right. Or, you know, Fate just honestly thought my lunchbox was really cool.
I remember sitting on my computer chair one afternoon staring avidly at the monitor about to check my MySpace like any other day when I clicked curiously on a new pending friend request. Time froze as I stared at the hand drawn profile picture of my would be friend, my heart stopping as my brain insisted that it couldn’t possibly be who I thought it was. For years, he never left my thoughts, always sitting smugly in the back of my mind, waving at me animatedly. I had imagined him on many occasions, even bringing myself to believe that he attended my own school, which wasn’t hard to do seeing as I had not seen the boy in 6 years. But this hand drawn picture…looked exactly how I had imagined the boy would look 6 years later. With a shaky hand, I moved the mouse to the message accompanied by the request and read:
“It’s been quite a few years…
But I hope you remember me!
The gay Asian kid…minus the glasses and some of the fat…
Ring any bells?
It’s Trung!”
I think that moment alone pushed everything back into perspective for me. Within seconds, I was beside myself with tears of pure joy. Suddenly, I was me again. Like a puzzle, you’ve just about completed it but there’s just that one annoying little piece that you have no idea where it went? You’re literally tearing up the house looking for it but it’s no use because your dog has gone and eaten it when you weren’t looking? Trung was that pesky little regurgitated puzzle piece that I was longing for my whole life. Even after the 6 years of absence in each other’s lives, it was as if he was always there. Everything that I was ever looking for, everything that I had ever wanted was sitting there staring me in the face.
So it turned out for me that my quest for a best friend was completely in vain. I was presented with my best friend early on in life just as I hoped I would. I was searching for something specific, not realizing that it was someone not something that I was looking for. My comfort and security was with Trung all this time, and here I was, scorning others when I myself had shared something just as precious and had not realized it until it all came rushing back at me. I have always had a best friend, and he has always been with me in some shape or form. Now when I see two friends planning the takeover of Australia lead by a maniacal force of Ninjas, I can’t help but smile. I have my ally against the world, the jelly to my peanut butter, and all I can hope for is that everyone does too.
((Nov. 2008))
The first day of school is one of those classic moments in life that you know you’re just never going to forget…unfortunately for me, I forgot everything only just a few years later. I suppose, as an oblivious six year old, the inner workings of school life just doesn’t matter all that much. Not to mention that I couldn’t possibly comprehend the fact that all of these years later, my life would STILL be predominately based upon my schooling. That child back in the 1st grade would have found this absolutely ridiculous, and would have thought that the ridiculing of her fellow classmates was far more troublesome.
My hair French braided with my favorite Minnie Mouse binders, the small plaid uniform dress hanging most uncomfortably on my body, and my small hand clutching a pink lunchbox featuring an epic visual of Mickey Mouse, the heroic knight, rescuing Minnie; I entered the beginning of the rest of my life most awkwardly. As I am now, I know I was most shy. I believe I took my seat immediately, possibly escorted by hugs and kisses of encouragement from my mother, which I still treasure accordingly to this day. I didn’t know anyone in class except for the bubbly blonde head of curls sitting somewhere close by. Her name was Rikki, and our mothers had been acquaintances when we went through the same kindergarten school before transferring here though never meeting before now. We became instant friends and were inseparable once the bell for recess sounded.
Though I remember quite clearly how I met Rikki, one case still leaves me quite confused to this day. There was one other similarly quirky character in our class and before I could even consciously recognize what I remember now as a small bespectacled little Asian boy with a precise bowl cut of jet-black hair; Trung had already conquered our hearts and all three of us were instantly one. Perhaps the universe had re-aligned, and our souls were always fated to meet, forever journeying together toward a common path through salvation and peace throughout the world. Or, you know, they both thought my lunchbox was really cool. I know I did.
Since our somewhat less than memorable meeting, the three of us had begun to weave our own world together. Instead of playing soccer with all of the normal kids, we were rather more inclined to open our own snow sculpture shop, act as security guards patrolling the entrance to a giant mountain of ice, and re-enact our favorite episodes of Pokemon. Everyone around us thought we were all a bit bonkers, but we knew the truth; One day very soon, we were going to conquer the world with an army of cheese and then everybody would be sorry.
Unfortunately, our schemes were put to an abrupt standstill when I left the school during the summer before entering 5th grade due to considerably questionable acts by the school’s daycare service. I never got to wish my cohorts good luck or partake in a teary goodbye; instead, I had simply vanished and never showed up on the first day of 5th grade. For all Rikki and Trung could have known, I probably got my letter to Hogwarts as I had always said I would.
After that sudden transition in my life where I entered the public school system full throttle, it seems that I left a part of myself behind. I went through the rest of my middle school years in a daze, with no real friends that I could ever ‘play’ with. I was desperate for somebody, who I could rely on, to journey to that other world with me. Years passed and that world began to fade. I began making my way through life with the support of simple friends, living through an existence where I was merely content, not exactly living up to my old standards. It wasn’t until the fall of my sophomore year of high school that Fate finally stepped in. Once more in service to the greater good of the world and all those poor souls in need of the heroes it once so greatly revered, Fate had finally put it all right. Or, you know, Fate just honestly thought my lunchbox was really cool.
I remember sitting on my computer chair one afternoon staring avidly at the monitor about to check my MySpace like any other day when I clicked curiously on a new pending friend request. Time froze as I stared at the hand drawn profile picture of my would be friend, my heart stopping as my brain insisted that it couldn’t possibly be who I thought it was. For years, he never left my thoughts, always sitting smugly in the back of my mind, waving at me animatedly. I had imagined him on many occasions, even bringing myself to believe that he attended my own school, which wasn’t hard to do seeing as I had not seen the boy in 6 years. But this hand drawn picture…looked exactly how I had imagined the boy would look 6 years later. With a shaky hand, I moved the mouse to the message accompanied by the request and read:
“It’s been quite a few years…
But I hope you remember me!
The gay Asian kid…minus the glasses and some of the fat…
Ring any bells?
It’s Trung!”
I think that moment alone pushed everything back into perspective for me. Within seconds, I was beside myself with tears of pure joy. Suddenly, I was me again. Like a puzzle, you’ve just about completed it but there’s just that one annoying little piece that you have no idea where it went? You’re literally tearing up the house looking for it but it’s no use because your dog has gone and eaten it when you weren’t looking? Trung was that pesky little regurgitated puzzle piece that I was longing for my whole life. Even after the 6 years of absence in each other’s lives, it was as if he was always there. Everything that I was ever looking for, everything that I had ever wanted was sitting there staring me in the face.
So it turned out for me that my quest for a best friend was completely in vain. I was presented with my best friend early on in life just as I hoped I would. I was searching for something specific, not realizing that it was someone not something that I was looking for. My comfort and security was with Trung all this time, and here I was, scorning others when I myself had shared something just as precious and had not realized it until it all came rushing back at me. I have always had a best friend, and he has always been with me in some shape or form. Now when I see two friends planning the takeover of Australia lead by a maniacal force of Ninjas, I can’t help but smile. I have my ally against the world, the jelly to my peanut butter, and all I can hope for is that everyone does too.
((Nov. 2008))
Friday, March 20, 2009
Band Geek Bible
Band Sportsmanship
-If ever there is need for a section wide scapegoat for a humiliating defeat, it will always be the Clarinets. (Actually, the Clarinets are mostly to blame for just about anything; from the weather to the trumpet soloist forgetting her black socks.)
-If your band does not place in a competition, proceed to bitch the entire ride home mostly staking vengence for the poor direction, Clarinets, or the kid two spaces from you who was constantly off step and becoming violently vocal when you are denied this claim.
-If you win, make sure the entire stadium hears your scream, most preferrably rendering any number of them deaf.
-Also, after every performance, sing the school chant upon arriving back at the school. If you won, sing extra loud. If you lost, protest and bitch.
-If the woodwinds did not place best hornline/wind, that is okay. But if Colorgaurd and Percussion did not place best make sure everyone hears about how much you think they suck.
-If ever there is need for a section wide scapegoat for a humiliating defeat, it will always be the Clarinets. (Actually, the Clarinets are mostly to blame for just about anything; from the weather to the trumpet soloist forgetting her black socks.)
-If your band does not place in a competition, proceed to bitch the entire ride home mostly staking vengence for the poor direction, Clarinets, or the kid two spaces from you who was constantly off step and becoming violently vocal when you are denied this claim.
-If you win, make sure the entire stadium hears your scream, most preferrably rendering any number of them deaf.
-Also, after every performance, sing the school chant upon arriving back at the school. If you won, sing extra loud. If you lost, protest and bitch.
-If the woodwinds did not place best hornline/wind, that is okay. But if Colorgaurd and Percussion did not place best make sure everyone hears about how much you think they suck.
IOM- Madama Butterfly
It's a funny thing…death. Caught in the moment, you can face it with fear or bravery; but in the end, that one concept is the last thought floating in your mind. A nagging suspicion of uncertainty bombarded with questions. It's all the same.
Is this it? Am I it? Is this what it really feels like? I feel so…at peace.
There is no difference.
Now imagine the idea of death and all it stands for: Loss. You lose everything, your life, your existence as a human being. Those who bothered to love you lose your company, and perhaps the world lost an opportunity of your gracing potential.
But the way I see it…I see it as something gained.
A sacrifice protecting the only one worth saving, the only decent person who has all the makings to change the world over.
One last shot at redemption from a life of selfish desire and careless indifference.
A faint tingle as his lips last sweep against yours, apologizing and pleading you along. In the end, protecting you all just the same.
Protecting you from death itself.
It's worth it…saving the man you love.
Or it was.
Before I survived.
A faint, guilty smile crept across her features before fading away entirely. Carefully studying her own expression reflecting back at her had brought a strange new feeling that she hadn't experienced in a long time.
Remorse.
Remorse for the life she had been living all this time. Remorse for the one that she had left behind. Remorse for the one that had yet to be taken from her.
She was still here, her body taking in a shaky breathe as it processed the alternative.
She was so close to losing it all, and that close to getting everything that she wanted. A large part of her had fought tooth and nail for the invaluable opportunity to live out the rest of hers days, but in that one fleeting moment when she had selflessly given it all up for Leon, she felt relieved. All of the games, the lying, the cheating, the killing that left her unfazed and eager for more. All of it had finally been over. And it felt so good. To know she didn't have to try so hard any more…that she could leave this planet knowing she could make it out doing something right. That it was all worth it.
Unfortunately, she was never allowed the luxury.
I was still the job. Still a puppet flailing against it's strings helplessly trying to free itself from it's master's steady hand.
Looking up at the mirror before her, she saw a slight flash of anger cross over dark emerald hues.
She knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of all the manipulation and backstabbing associated with her line of work, but it didn't leave her any less frustrated. They had kept her alive. They had made sure she finished the job before ever considering letting herself go.
And they had got what they wanted. Their precious G virus and a skilled agent on speed dial.
"But what did I get exactly?" Her raspy voice growled defiantly, her eyes narrowing.
A souvenir.
With delicate hands, the woman slowly pulled her dressings above her head and free from her body. Tossing the garment to the floor where it lay resting at her bare feet. Her naval now exposed, her eyes found themselves resting on a long haggard abrasion that ran the length of her right side, a more profound line resting on top, a deep scar slowly healing itself.
A gift for a conflicted soul. A reminder of just how unfortunate and wasteful her life had been.
The incident in Raccoon had not only left it's mark on her once carefully sculpted physique but on her own motivations as well.
The woman standing in front of the mirror used to be driven by greed and power. She used to never feel remorse nor guilt. She was cold, emotionless, she got the job done.
But staring back at her now was someone she did not know.
She dropped her gaze, suddenly self conscious of the way her eyes had begun to swim. It was a weak and passive emotion, one that she would not have accepted otherwise.
Truth was, Raccoon had changed her. She had learned to rely on someone else rather than herself. She had learned that she wasn't as in control as she once thought. She had learned to love…
Startled by the sudden accompaniment of wet tears streaming down her cheek, she wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself close in comfort.
I had died down there. Trapped forever with the creations of people like me. People who fought for themselves, people without a care in the world. A victim of my own arrogance.
The woman who did come out of that wreckage wasn't me. She was born from it all. A product of him. Rising from the ashes to meet the maker.
She couldn't stop.
It's over. All of it. Everything is different and I can't…I can't…I have to let it go.
…
I have to.
"I'm not Ada Wong anymore…" She whispered in finality to the mirror.
Choking back a sob, she brought a shaky hand to her ab, touching the place where the Tyrant had punished her.
"This is Ada's scar, not mine."
And the tears were free flowing now, betraying her every insecurity. Engulfing her in helplessness as she willed herself to stop.
She had been given new meaning, a new purpose.
He had saved her.
With a shuddering gasp, she fell against the mirror, sliding down along it's surface, laying to rest against it. Her knees tucked against her chest, her arms draped around them, her head pressed against the cold glass; a caricature of vulnerability.
He made me feel human. I meant something, I was worth protecting, worth risking your life for. Through all the tales I told, through all the times I tried to play him along with my casual flirtation, all the times I ran from him never stopping to consider his feelings…he still bothered to care. No matter how hard I tried…he wouldn't let me shake him off. He could see through me. See through it all. All the stupid defenses I put up, everything. In the end he broke me…built me back up, made me stronger, but in the end that much weaker.
I'm nothing but the job.
Nothing but a heartless bitch.
But not anymore.
With a heavy sigh, she wiped her face with the back of her hand. She felt drained, and very much exhausted. She couldn't recall the last time she let her emotions overtake her like this…
I suppose this is the final testament to the new me…
The last goodbye.
Picking herself up carefully from the floor, she turned to face herself once more in the reflection of the grand mirror.
She was nearly unrecognizable. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were sodden with heavy streaks, her black hair sticking to the sides of her face where it had caught the tears.
And she couldn't help but smile.
Her reflection never once hesitating to return the gesture.
He was right…
There was a real person under there all along.
And she was worth saving.
Her new mission was drawing ever closer, but when it would finally reach her, she would be ready.
She was no longer Ada Wong. She was something more.
She had been given another chance, a new life.
And she would return it in kind. This, she vowed.
For as long as she waits, waits for the opportunity of redemption, she will protect him. She will save him.
There was no going back. Never again would she be the same.
When the robin makes his nest...
And with that, Ada Wong looked away from her reflection, covering her scar with the abandoned garment, as she left herself behind.
Never looking back.
Is this it? Am I it? Is this what it really feels like? I feel so…at peace.
There is no difference.
Now imagine the idea of death and all it stands for: Loss. You lose everything, your life, your existence as a human being. Those who bothered to love you lose your company, and perhaps the world lost an opportunity of your gracing potential.
But the way I see it…I see it as something gained.
A sacrifice protecting the only one worth saving, the only decent person who has all the makings to change the world over.
One last shot at redemption from a life of selfish desire and careless indifference.
A faint tingle as his lips last sweep against yours, apologizing and pleading you along. In the end, protecting you all just the same.
Protecting you from death itself.
It's worth it…saving the man you love.
Or it was.
Before I survived.
A faint, guilty smile crept across her features before fading away entirely. Carefully studying her own expression reflecting back at her had brought a strange new feeling that she hadn't experienced in a long time.
Remorse.
Remorse for the life she had been living all this time. Remorse for the one that she had left behind. Remorse for the one that had yet to be taken from her.
She was still here, her body taking in a shaky breathe as it processed the alternative.
She was so close to losing it all, and that close to getting everything that she wanted. A large part of her had fought tooth and nail for the invaluable opportunity to live out the rest of hers days, but in that one fleeting moment when she had selflessly given it all up for Leon, she felt relieved. All of the games, the lying, the cheating, the killing that left her unfazed and eager for more. All of it had finally been over. And it felt so good. To know she didn't have to try so hard any more…that she could leave this planet knowing she could make it out doing something right. That it was all worth it.
Unfortunately, she was never allowed the luxury.
I was still the job. Still a puppet flailing against it's strings helplessly trying to free itself from it's master's steady hand.
Looking up at the mirror before her, she saw a slight flash of anger cross over dark emerald hues.
She knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of all the manipulation and backstabbing associated with her line of work, but it didn't leave her any less frustrated. They had kept her alive. They had made sure she finished the job before ever considering letting herself go.
And they had got what they wanted. Their precious G virus and a skilled agent on speed dial.
"But what did I get exactly?" Her raspy voice growled defiantly, her eyes narrowing.
A souvenir.
With delicate hands, the woman slowly pulled her dressings above her head and free from her body. Tossing the garment to the floor where it lay resting at her bare feet. Her naval now exposed, her eyes found themselves resting on a long haggard abrasion that ran the length of her right side, a more profound line resting on top, a deep scar slowly healing itself.
A gift for a conflicted soul. A reminder of just how unfortunate and wasteful her life had been.
The incident in Raccoon had not only left it's mark on her once carefully sculpted physique but on her own motivations as well.
The woman standing in front of the mirror used to be driven by greed and power. She used to never feel remorse nor guilt. She was cold, emotionless, she got the job done.
But staring back at her now was someone she did not know.
She dropped her gaze, suddenly self conscious of the way her eyes had begun to swim. It was a weak and passive emotion, one that she would not have accepted otherwise.
Truth was, Raccoon had changed her. She had learned to rely on someone else rather than herself. She had learned that she wasn't as in control as she once thought. She had learned to love…
Startled by the sudden accompaniment of wet tears streaming down her cheek, she wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself close in comfort.
I had died down there. Trapped forever with the creations of people like me. People who fought for themselves, people without a care in the world. A victim of my own arrogance.
The woman who did come out of that wreckage wasn't me. She was born from it all. A product of him. Rising from the ashes to meet the maker.
She couldn't stop.
It's over. All of it. Everything is different and I can't…I can't…I have to let it go.
…
I have to.
"I'm not Ada Wong anymore…" She whispered in finality to the mirror.
Choking back a sob, she brought a shaky hand to her ab, touching the place where the Tyrant had punished her.
"This is Ada's scar, not mine."
And the tears were free flowing now, betraying her every insecurity. Engulfing her in helplessness as she willed herself to stop.
She had been given new meaning, a new purpose.
He had saved her.
With a shuddering gasp, she fell against the mirror, sliding down along it's surface, laying to rest against it. Her knees tucked against her chest, her arms draped around them, her head pressed against the cold glass; a caricature of vulnerability.
He made me feel human. I meant something, I was worth protecting, worth risking your life for. Through all the tales I told, through all the times I tried to play him along with my casual flirtation, all the times I ran from him never stopping to consider his feelings…he still bothered to care. No matter how hard I tried…he wouldn't let me shake him off. He could see through me. See through it all. All the stupid defenses I put up, everything. In the end he broke me…built me back up, made me stronger, but in the end that much weaker.
I'm nothing but the job.
Nothing but a heartless bitch.
But not anymore.
With a heavy sigh, she wiped her face with the back of her hand. She felt drained, and very much exhausted. She couldn't recall the last time she let her emotions overtake her like this…
I suppose this is the final testament to the new me…
The last goodbye.
Picking herself up carefully from the floor, she turned to face herself once more in the reflection of the grand mirror.
She was nearly unrecognizable. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were sodden with heavy streaks, her black hair sticking to the sides of her face where it had caught the tears.
And she couldn't help but smile.
Her reflection never once hesitating to return the gesture.
He was right…
There was a real person under there all along.
And she was worth saving.
Her new mission was drawing ever closer, but when it would finally reach her, she would be ready.
She was no longer Ada Wong. She was something more.
She had been given another chance, a new life.
And she would return it in kind. This, she vowed.
For as long as she waits, waits for the opportunity of redemption, she will protect him. She will save him.
There was no going back. Never again would she be the same.
When the robin makes his nest...
And with that, Ada Wong looked away from her reflection, covering her scar with the abandoned garment, as she left herself behind.
Never looking back.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Meet Your Master (A ToDM)
Pandora.
Signing on...
...//
Now processing personal data...
Access granted.
In this line of business you've got to rely on pure nerve. Instinct. There will always be someone who is smarter than you. Someone who is vastly superior in combat. Someone with a bigger gun. But if you've got the most guts, you'll always manage a way out on top. If you can't think quick on your feet you've got no business even bothering to live and to assume you do will put an end to everything pretty fast.
Not that I'm complaining...
We've lost a lot of good people over the past few months. People who walked in a bit too cocky and didn't get a chance to come out. People who were just following orders. It's all an elaborate game. They move, we move back. Never rehashing past mistakes, simply barreling on ahead. There's no time to feel remorse, you've only got a millisecond to put yourself together, head held high as you fill their shoes. Sometimes though you can't help but feel if this will continue until we're both gone. Nobody left, nobody to start things up again. Just one big waste...
Unfortunately, I wasn't getting payed to mull things over.
My time had come. It was my turn. Picked from many in an almost blind decision, it was up to me. I was finally playing the game.
And playing it well I might add. With my hair pulled back tight and my careful eyes hidden behind a pair of transparent specs, anyone would assume I was who I said I was.
Just to run it through again...My alias is Pandora. I'm one of the top bio-engineers working on project 65c, department 2 under the leadership of Lanzer Bretolucci who is well known for his developments in the parasite rehabilitation sector G. I'm level-headed, lax in confrontation, but am known to have ties to The Organization.
Mission objective?
Obtain the file that illustrates the progress on the unauthorized genetic manipulation of the refugees in the Corta section.
((Baah. Actually, I want to just jump right in. Who needs to explain a whole bunch of crap I already know? This is for me anyways. I know everybody.
Plus, Pandora shouldn't be an impersonation. How could you impersonate someone of that level and not get caught? No, Pandora is an Alias, but one of many. A character played when appropriate. A life to reuse and discard when nessecary. Will revamp later))
Signing on...
...//
Now processing personal data...
Access granted.
In this line of business you've got to rely on pure nerve. Instinct. There will always be someone who is smarter than you. Someone who is vastly superior in combat. Someone with a bigger gun. But if you've got the most guts, you'll always manage a way out on top. If you can't think quick on your feet you've got no business even bothering to live and to assume you do will put an end to everything pretty fast.
Not that I'm complaining...
We've lost a lot of good people over the past few months. People who walked in a bit too cocky and didn't get a chance to come out. People who were just following orders. It's all an elaborate game. They move, we move back. Never rehashing past mistakes, simply barreling on ahead. There's no time to feel remorse, you've only got a millisecond to put yourself together, head held high as you fill their shoes. Sometimes though you can't help but feel if this will continue until we're both gone. Nobody left, nobody to start things up again. Just one big waste...
Unfortunately, I wasn't getting payed to mull things over.
My time had come. It was my turn. Picked from many in an almost blind decision, it was up to me. I was finally playing the game.
And playing it well I might add. With my hair pulled back tight and my careful eyes hidden behind a pair of transparent specs, anyone would assume I was who I said I was.
Just to run it through again...My alias is Pandora. I'm one of the top bio-engineers working on project 65c, department 2 under the leadership of Lanzer Bretolucci who is well known for his developments in the parasite rehabilitation sector G. I'm level-headed, lax in confrontation, but am known to have ties to The Organization.
Mission objective?
Obtain the file that illustrates the progress on the unauthorized genetic manipulation of the refugees in the Corta section.
((Baah. Actually, I want to just jump right in. Who needs to explain a whole bunch of crap I already know? This is for me anyways. I know everybody.
Plus, Pandora shouldn't be an impersonation. How could you impersonate someone of that level and not get caught? No, Pandora is an Alias, but one of many. A character played when appropriate. A life to reuse and discard when nessecary. Will revamp later))
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Bobby Pendragon Interview
The Bobby Pendragon Interview
Based on the story Pendragon: The Merchant of Death By D.J. MacHale
The unedited version that never made it on TV!
WARNING!
This article contains squirrels and various other monsters including random crap not associating with the assignment. View at your own cost. We warned you!
~~~~
During my 3 hour long Mountain Dew break, I got a chance to interview Bobby Pendragon, the traveler for Second Earth...what does that mean you ask? Well we're all about to find out.
Me: So Bobby...what is a traveler?
Bobby: Uh...ask Aja...
Me: Who the heck is Aja?
Bobby: The traveler from Veelox.
Me: Look...kid...all I want to know is WHAT IS A TRAVELER?!
Bobby: Whoo...calm down dude!
Me: Look...this is an interview...I ask the questions and YOU answer! This if for English! Focus!
Bobby: Who cares about English?
Me: I do, and I'M the one asking the questions!
Bobby: Alright then...a traveler is one person chosen from a territory that protects all the other territores from Saint Dane. Aren't we like, halfway done now?
Me: No, that was 1/10 questions. Anyways, who is Saint Dane?
Bobby: The bad guy.
Me: ...
Bobby: Oh alright! Uh...let's see here. All the territories are going through a turning point, and it's our job as travelers to make sure they get through it okay. Saint Dane, on the other hand, wants Halla (Everything!) to collapse and by doing so become the ruler of Halla. So he tries to turn the territories to chaos using manipulation.
Me: Well that was a mouthful! Tell us about Denduron and its traveler.
Bobby: Alder is the traveler of Denduron. It's also home to two different tribes. One of the tribers is the Milago, who I, Uncle Press, Alder, and Loor help, and the Bedowan. The territory is on the brink of a revolution as the Milago are tired of being ruled by the Bedowan. Without Alder on our side, we wouldn't have been able to get into the Bedowan castle; after all he was one of their knights and knew his way around.
Me: How about Coral?
Bobby: CLORAL!
Me: Sorry...
Bobby: It's okay, I get that a lot. Anyways, Cloral is my favorite territory. It's like that movie "Waterworld". The whole planet is covered in water and you have great civilizations built above the water. My good friend Spader is one of the water guards and protects the city. He's a good guy, but just doesn't have what it takes to help protect Halla with all the other travelers. There is even a lost city that is the only known piece of lank called Faar-
Me: You watch too many movies.
Bobby: Technically, you do since you're the one writing this thing.
Me: Whatever, anyways, continue.
Bobby: I'm done.
Me: No you're not! I cut you off!
Bobby: Well, I was practically done.
Me: Practically?
Bobby: Just go ahead and ask the next question!
Me: Ok...*Flips through papers* Stupid squirrel secretaries...
Bobby: Come on already! I've got territories to save!
Me: According to my information, travelers appear at a territory when they are needed-
Bobby: Are you implying that you're smarter than me?
Me: Technically I am since I'm writing this, remember?
Bobby: Right.
Me: Yes...I AM smart! *Shifty glance*
Bobby: Uh...why don't I just tell you a little about myself then, shall I?
Me: Shoot.
Bobby: Okay. I'm just like normal kids right? I go to Stoney Brook High and play on the basketball team. I've got a lot of friends, but Mark Diamond is my best friend. My girlfriend is Courtney Chetwynde, who has been my rival at sports since elementery school.
Me: Can you tell us about Mark?
Bobby: Mark has been my best friend since first grade! Though our likes and dislikes are completely differemt, we are still the best of friends. Mark wears glasses and has a thing with carrots (He thinks it will improve his eyesight) and he's a big nerd.
Me: Aren't we all...anyways, what about Courtney?
Bobby: Who now?
Me: Kid, what's you deal? Courtney Chetwynde/
Bobby: Right. Courtney is the most athletic person in our school. She's on all the guy teams because the girls couldn't keep up with her, but neither can the guys. She's pretty and popular so yeah...you get the picture.
Me: How romantic...
Bobby: Yeah I know.
Me: I was being sarcastic.
Bobby: Well no one knows that when you're typing this stuff!
Me: They do now.
Bobby: You're mean...
Me: Quit your whining. Ok, if Saint Dane came to second Earth, what would he do to cause the negative turning point in our territory?
Bobby: Probably get someone to blow up all the Disney Worlds on the planet or something.
Me: Pretty sneaky.
Bobby: Yup, that would definately throw the world on the brink of destruction.
Me: Okay, Ms Applen is probably getting bored of reading this by now, so let's try to rap it up.
Bobby: Yeeeeeees.
Me: Your vote of confidence is overwhelming...
Bobby: Geez, someone has to chain your VCR up or something man!
Me: I've got more than that!
Bobby: Okay, we're drifting off subject now...
Me: That we are my friend! That we are!
Bobby: You're really starting to scare me...
Me: o.o Alright, I'm starting to get caught up in the whole RP thing and am forgetting that this is an ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT!
Bobby: ...
Me: Meh, well I guess that's all for this lousy excuse for an interview! I bet you anything though; you won't find a more interesting interview in your stash of book reports since I'm the only one enjoying this assignment. now all that's left is to check for typos (Dang those infernal typos) and turn it in.
Bobby: Hope you get a good grade!
Me: Me too my young friend, me...too.
*hint**hint*
Squirrel Secretary: Nukuku! (Translation: It's out there!)
(2003)
Monday, January 12, 2009
Origins- A Max Silverlight Interview.
ODNURG: Hello everybody! As you may have well known once, maybe never, before I've done many interviews in the past...
Grundo: Weren't they all stolen by your insensitive cousin who probably lost them all in the recesses of her bilge rat living arrangements all the while never considering that perhaps one day you would love to review them and submit them on a Bloggerspot someday because she found them hilarious?
ODNURG: ....yes.
Grundo: So then really, nobody has any record of your interviewing abilities, which we can all assume would be rather lack, and therefore are well concerned that perhaps this interview should never be happening in the first place?
ODNURG: Remind me why I invited you?
Grundo: Because I was there in the beginning and you've only touched the world very recently due to a cosmic and of yet unexplained shift through time and space that created a dual personality, me being the good and you the evil, therefore encouraging the fact that you are an unintelligable arrogant know-nothing leafcake?
ODNURG: As I recall, I became the intelligable one and you the raging intoxicated hippie, no?
Grundo: *Suddenly reminiscent of a 60's love movement* Eh, uh, what we be talkin' bout man?
ODNURG: Exactly. But for now, I suppose the being before the strange and unusual shift happened would be more appropriate for this interview since that was the one who witnessed it all.
Grundo: Thank you.
ODNURG: Moving on, I'd like to introduce everyone to the first character introduced in the RP notebook on the side of Esod, Max Silverlight!
Max Silverlight: *Considerably uncomfortable, probably due to the confusion of being raped into every possible role at Esod's dearest whim.* Atleast that's one thing that stays consistent...my name.
Grundo: Actually, as I recall, there was a time when you were used in a Final Fantasy 8 next generation roleplay in which you were the son of Rinoa Heartily, there by attaining her last name...
Max Silverlight: *Cries*
Grundo: It's okay, we've all been thrown around quite a bit.
ODNURG: Though, the rest of us probably haven't obtained quite so many RPTD's (Role-playing transmitted disease. Doctor's assume this to affect the deteriation of cranial activity, the sensitivity to fangirling, Multiple personality disorder, and bad odor.)
Grundo: Oh thaaaaat's what that is...*Inches away from Max abrubtly*
Max: *Still crying*
ODNURG: Let's take a quick break while Maxy-poo pulls it together after the considerable pwning and realization that his life is worthless!
(15 minutes and 43 seconds later)
Max: *Is cheerfully chowing down on Ramen noodles*
To be continued...
(Written Jan. 12th-
Grundo: Weren't they all stolen by your insensitive cousin who probably lost them all in the recesses of her bilge rat living arrangements all the while never considering that perhaps one day you would love to review them and submit them on a Bloggerspot someday because she found them hilarious?
ODNURG: ....yes.
Grundo: So then really, nobody has any record of your interviewing abilities, which we can all assume would be rather lack, and therefore are well concerned that perhaps this interview should never be happening in the first place?
ODNURG: Remind me why I invited you?
Grundo: Because I was there in the beginning and you've only touched the world very recently due to a cosmic and of yet unexplained shift through time and space that created a dual personality, me being the good and you the evil, therefore encouraging the fact that you are an unintelligable arrogant know-nothing leafcake?
ODNURG: As I recall, I became the intelligable one and you the raging intoxicated hippie, no?
Grundo: *Suddenly reminiscent of a 60's love movement* Eh, uh, what we be talkin' bout man?
ODNURG: Exactly. But for now, I suppose the being before the strange and unusual shift happened would be more appropriate for this interview since that was the one who witnessed it all.
Grundo: Thank you.
ODNURG: Moving on, I'd like to introduce everyone to the first character introduced in the RP notebook on the side of Esod, Max Silverlight!
Max Silverlight: *Considerably uncomfortable, probably due to the confusion of being raped into every possible role at Esod's dearest whim.* Atleast that's one thing that stays consistent...my name.
Grundo: Actually, as I recall, there was a time when you were used in a Final Fantasy 8 next generation roleplay in which you were the son of Rinoa Heartily, there by attaining her last name...
Max Silverlight: *Cries*
Grundo: It's okay, we've all been thrown around quite a bit.
ODNURG: Though, the rest of us probably haven't obtained quite so many RPTD's (Role-playing transmitted disease. Doctor's assume this to affect the deteriation of cranial activity, the sensitivity to fangirling, Multiple personality disorder, and bad odor.)
Grundo: Oh thaaaaat's what that is...*Inches away from Max abrubtly*
Max: *Still crying*
ODNURG: Let's take a quick break while Maxy-poo pulls it together after the considerable pwning and realization that his life is worthless!
(15 minutes and 43 seconds later)
Max: *Is cheerfully chowing down on Ramen noodles*
To be continued...
(Written Jan. 12th-
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Topic Debate III
Topic Debate:
Which is better, Choco puffs or Machina pops?
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Rikku: Machina pops all the way! ^^
Cloud: It's againt the Yevon religion!
Rikku: So?
Max: You don't even KNOW the Yevon religion!
Cloud: I know that if you don't follow it, Ol' Seymoure will tickle you silly!
Rikku: ....that sounds like him...all nefarious like...
Max: That and marry Yuna.
Rikku: Who cares?!
Cloud: Tidus would!
Cid: FOOLS!
Max: Not again...
Cid: This debate is about cereal NOT Yuna's affairs with Tidus...
Sephiroth: *Is in the back casting water on both cereals*
Cloud: *Munchs on chocopuffs* Oh!
Rikku: Machina pop are better!
Max: Does choco puffs have to do with chocobos?
Cid: Naturally...
Cloud: *jumps out of chair* I'M CUCU FOR COCOA PUFFS!
Max: Say what?
Cid: Even I don't know what cocoa puffs are!
Max: *Reads box of cereal cloud was eating* There's a rooster thinger on it.
Rikku: ^^I like roosters.
Cid: I'm sure you do...
Cloud: *Is swimming in a pool of chocolate*
Rikku: SUGAR HIGH! *Runs around in circles*
Max: ?
Cid: Don't ask...
Sephiroth: *Comes back* Choco puffs get soggier quicker than Machina pops...
Rikku: That settles it! Machina pops RUUULLLE!
Max: But...Machina pops taste like micro chips.
Rikku: ^^I know!
Cloud: *Stares at bowl of nutricious choco puffs* There's yellow feathers in here...
Max: Ewwww.
Rikku: HAH! See?
Sephiroth: Cocoa puffs?
Mac: Nu! Don't eat that!
Cloud: *Flys at cocoa puffs* MINE!
Rikku: ...cocoa puffs have NOTHING to do with the debate!
Sephiroth: *Casts Thundaga on Rikku*
Rikku: OMIGOZ *Cries* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[[Little timer goes off]]
*Everyone in group except for Rikku settles down and smiles*
The answer is Fruitloops! Thank you for joing us on...
Which is better, Choco puffs or Machina pops?
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Rikku: Machina pops all the way! ^^
Cloud: It's againt the Yevon religion!
Rikku: So?
Max: You don't even KNOW the Yevon religion!
Cloud: I know that if you don't follow it, Ol' Seymoure will tickle you silly!
Rikku: ....that sounds like him...all nefarious like...
Max: That and marry Yuna.
Rikku: Who cares?!
Cloud: Tidus would!
Cid: FOOLS!
Max: Not again...
Cid: This debate is about cereal NOT Yuna's affairs with Tidus...
Sephiroth: *Is in the back casting water on both cereals*
Cloud: *Munchs on chocopuffs* Oh!
Rikku: Machina pop are better!
Max: Does choco puffs have to do with chocobos?
Cid: Naturally...
Cloud: *jumps out of chair* I'M CUCU FOR COCOA PUFFS!
Max: Say what?
Cid: Even I don't know what cocoa puffs are!
Max: *Reads box of cereal cloud was eating* There's a rooster thinger on it.
Rikku: ^^I like roosters.
Cid: I'm sure you do...
Cloud: *Is swimming in a pool of chocolate*
Rikku: SUGAR HIGH! *Runs around in circles*
Max: ?
Cid: Don't ask...
Sephiroth: *Comes back* Choco puffs get soggier quicker than Machina pops...
Rikku: That settles it! Machina pops RUUULLLE!
Max: But...Machina pops taste like micro chips.
Rikku: ^^I know!
Cloud: *Stares at bowl of nutricious choco puffs* There's yellow feathers in here...
Max: Ewwww.
Rikku: HAH! See?
Sephiroth: Cocoa puffs?
Mac: Nu! Don't eat that!
Cloud: *Flys at cocoa puffs* MINE!
Rikku: ...cocoa puffs have NOTHING to do with the debate!
Sephiroth: *Casts Thundaga on Rikku*
Rikku: OMIGOZ *Cries* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[[Little timer goes off]]
*Everyone in group except for Rikku settles down and smiles*
The answer is Fruitloops! Thank you for joing us on...
TOPIC DEBATE
*Sparkle gleam gleam sparkle*
*Sparkle gleam gleam sparkle*
((Est. 2003))
Topic Debate II
Topic Debate:
The purpose of Snow
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Cloud: The white stuff?
Max: Yeah! Like Cloud!
Cloud: That was NOT funny.
Rikku: I dun like white chocolate!
Cid: FOOLS! S-N-O-W!
Sephiroth: *Is in the back casting fira on the snow*
Rikku: Well, you can make snowman then practice with your latest explosives on it.
Cid: Ah, no...
Rikku: Well, what do you think, daddy-o?
Cid: DON'T call me that!
Rikku: Wahtever...
Max: Yeah gramps! Hurry up!
Cid: Well, first off...there is NO purpose of snow. It is just frozen water droplets...
Cloud: Yeah yeah yeah, you just don't know the fine art of snow angel making.
Cid: ...you are an idiot.
Sephiroth: *Comes back with top part of hair sizzled off* UREKA!
Max: That was some retarded dialouge there yo...
Sephiroth: The purpose of snow is WATER!
Max: You know? For the supposed best Final Fantasy villian, you totally ARE a freakin' retard.
Rikku: Peoples, the purpose of snow is not "Arguement"
Cloud: Girl, this is a debate! We're SUPPOSED to argue!
Max: That, and start fist fights!
Cid: FOOLS!
Cloud: Dude, just because you're the oldest on Topic Debate doesn't mean you can blow us to smithereens!
Sephiroth: Yes, only I may do that.
Rikku: *noddles*
Cloud: Yeah, I've seen it before... *Wipes a single whimpy tear*
Cid: Yeah right. Mister, Hammer an' Nails!
Sephiroth: *Pulls Cid's right eye out of it's sockit*
Cid: GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rikku: Kuel!
Cloud: AGAIN! AGAIN!
Sephiroth: *Makes for Cloud's left eye*
Cloud: NUUUUUU! NOT ME! NOT ME!
Rikku: *Molds a pile of snow into a ball and throws it at Max*
Max: *Gets hit by snowball* Wait, the purpose is snowball fights!
Cloud: *Trips over teddy bear* HELP!
Rikku: I dun help people wearing purple.
Sephiroth: *nears*
Cid: *Puts on eyepatch* Yah!
Sephiroth: *Is about to cast Ultima*
[[Little timer goes off]]
*Group settles down and smiles*
The answer is Don't mess with Sephiroth! Thank you for joining us on...
(( Est. 2003))
The purpose of Snow
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Cloud: The white stuff?
Max: Yeah! Like Cloud!
Cloud: That was NOT funny.
Rikku: I dun like white chocolate!
Cid: FOOLS! S-N-O-W!
Sephiroth: *Is in the back casting fira on the snow*
Rikku: Well, you can make snowman then practice with your latest explosives on it.
Cid: Ah, no...
Rikku: Well, what do you think, daddy-o?
Cid: DON'T call me that!
Rikku: Wahtever...
Max: Yeah gramps! Hurry up!
Cid: Well, first off...there is NO purpose of snow. It is just frozen water droplets...
Cloud: Yeah yeah yeah, you just don't know the fine art of snow angel making.
Cid: ...you are an idiot.
Sephiroth: *Comes back with top part of hair sizzled off* UREKA!
Max: That was some retarded dialouge there yo...
Sephiroth: The purpose of snow is WATER!
Max: You know? For the supposed best Final Fantasy villian, you totally ARE a freakin' retard.
Rikku: Peoples, the purpose of snow is not "Arguement"
Cloud: Girl, this is a debate! We're SUPPOSED to argue!
Max: That, and start fist fights!
Cid: FOOLS!
Cloud: Dude, just because you're the oldest on Topic Debate doesn't mean you can blow us to smithereens!
Sephiroth: Yes, only I may do that.
Rikku: *noddles*
Cloud: Yeah, I've seen it before... *Wipes a single whimpy tear*
Cid: Yeah right. Mister, Hammer an' Nails!
Sephiroth: *Pulls Cid's right eye out of it's sockit*
Cid: GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rikku: Kuel!
Cloud: AGAIN! AGAIN!
Sephiroth: *Makes for Cloud's left eye*
Cloud: NUUUUUU! NOT ME! NOT ME!
Rikku: *Molds a pile of snow into a ball and throws it at Max*
Max: *Gets hit by snowball* Wait, the purpose is snowball fights!
Cloud: *Trips over teddy bear* HELP!
Rikku: I dun help people wearing purple.
Sephiroth: *nears*
Cid: *Puts on eyepatch* Yah!
Sephiroth: *Is about to cast Ultima*
[[Little timer goes off]]
*Group settles down and smiles*
The answer is Don't mess with Sephiroth! Thank you for joining us on...
TOPIC DEBATE
*Sparkle gleam gleam sparkle*
*Sparkle gleam gleam sparkle*
(( Est. 2003))
Topic Debate I
Topic debate:
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise roll pop?
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Let the debate begin!
Max: 3,876.
Rikku: *Takes tootsie roll pop and bites it in half revealing center* 0!
Cloud: What, yah got no saliva, Max? I say 3!
Max: You watch to many commericals!
Sephiroth: *Is in the back casting Demi on a tootsie roll pop*
Cid: I think you are ALL fools!
Cloud: Why do you say that, baldy?
Cid: GAH! Will everyone quit calling me baldy!
Rikku: I say it's 0 peoples!
Sephiroth: *Comes back without Tootsie roll pop* 28 Demi.
Max: It's suppose to be licks!
Sephiroth: *casts Demi on Max*
Max: AHHHHHHHHH!
Cid: Like I said...you people are all idiots. It takes 1,337 licks!
Cloud: You're a stupid old fart. It only takes 3.
Rikku: Nu-uh! It's 0! It's totally a trick question!
Cloud: 3!
Cid: *Hands Cloud Tootsie roll pop* Let's see yah confirm your theory!
Cloud: *Starts counting licks* 1...2...3...uh...wait lemme try again. 1...2...3...uh wait. 1...2...3...
Rikku: *takes Tootsie roll pop from cloud and throws it away*
Cloud: Hey! She stole my Tootsie pop!
Cid: Idiot. It doesn't take 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop!
Rikku: *Gives Cid a tootsie roll pop* You gotta see if it takes 1,337 licks!
Cid: *starts counting* 1...2...
Max: *casts fira on Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *Casts comet*
*Comets rain down on everyone but Cid*
Rikku and Cloud: AHHHHHHHH!
Cid: ...3...uh...
Cloud: That's it! *Casts Thundaga*
Sephiroth: You cannot defeat me.
Cloud: You killed my father!
Cid: ....guys?
Sephiroth: No, Cloud...I AM your father!
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Max: *Chases after Rikku*
Rikku: *Trips Max*
Cid: GUYS!
*All freeze*
I got to 3...
*All go back to fighting*
[[Little timer goes off]]
*Group settles down and smiles*
The answer is 3! Thank you for joing us on...
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise roll pop?
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Let the debate begin!
Max: 3,876.
Rikku: *Takes tootsie roll pop and bites it in half revealing center* 0!
Cloud: What, yah got no saliva, Max? I say 3!
Max: You watch to many commericals!
Sephiroth: *Is in the back casting Demi on a tootsie roll pop*
Cid: I think you are ALL fools!
Cloud: Why do you say that, baldy?
Cid: GAH! Will everyone quit calling me baldy!
Rikku: I say it's 0 peoples!
Sephiroth: *Comes back without Tootsie roll pop* 28 Demi.
Max: It's suppose to be licks!
Sephiroth: *casts Demi on Max*
Max: AHHHHHHHHH!
Cid: Like I said...you people are all idiots. It takes 1,337 licks!
Cloud: You're a stupid old fart. It only takes 3.
Rikku: Nu-uh! It's 0! It's totally a trick question!
Cloud: 3!
Cid: *Hands Cloud Tootsie roll pop* Let's see yah confirm your theory!
Cloud: *Starts counting licks* 1...2...3...uh...wait lemme try again. 1...2...3...uh wait. 1...2...3...
Rikku: *takes Tootsie roll pop from cloud and throws it away*
Cloud: Hey! She stole my Tootsie pop!
Cid: Idiot. It doesn't take 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop!
Rikku: *Gives Cid a tootsie roll pop* You gotta see if it takes 1,337 licks!
Cid: *starts counting* 1...2...
Max: *casts fira on Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *Casts comet*
*Comets rain down on everyone but Cid*
Rikku and Cloud: AHHHHHHHH!
Cid: ...3...uh...
Cloud: That's it! *Casts Thundaga*
Sephiroth: You cannot defeat me.
Cloud: You killed my father!
Cid: ....guys?
Sephiroth: No, Cloud...I AM your father!
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Max: *Chases after Rikku*
Rikku: *Trips Max*
Cid: GUYS!
*All freeze*
I got to 3...
*All go back to fighting*
[[Little timer goes off]]
*Group settles down and smiles*
The answer is 3! Thank you for joing us on...
TOPIC DEBATE
*Sparkle gleam gleam sparkle*
(( Est. 2003))
The ODNURG Show! Special Ep.
*Weird color lights flash everywhere blinding audience*
Announcer Dude: Heeeeeeeeeeres ODNURG!
ODNURG: *Runs onstage* Heeeeeeellooooooo Portavyon! And welcome to my show! -Bleep- straight it's my show! *Sits down at desk labeled -ODNURG SHO-* What the-? I was bleeped! Hey! This is PG-13! I can swear! GRUNDO! Turn off your censors! This is my show! MY SHOW!
-COMMERCIAL-
ODNURG: *Sits back down, hair messy and blood coming from paper-cut* I'M SUE'IN YOU, YA LITTLE TWIRP! *Notices cameras on* Uh, um, ok then! Todays quests are the cast of Final Fantasy X! First up is the loveable fuzzball Kimarhi Ronso!
Kimarhi: *Walks on stage and sits in chair next to desk labeled -BLUEBOI-*
ODNURG: Uhm...I appologize about the chair...my staff *Cough* Macabre *Cough* does not appreciate fine video game characters.
Kimarhi: *blinks*
ODNURG: *leans closer* Why don't you talk?
Kimarhi: ...
ODNURG: Why do you have a small horn?
Kimarhi: ...
ODNURG: *anger* This is an interview! You're supposed to answer the questions!
Kimarhi: The essence of the mind can only be acheived by silence. *Copyright*
ODNURG: >.> That is some strange Voodoo -BLEEP- man! ...Wha--BLEEP- you Grundo! -BLEEP- you!
Kimarhi: ...
ODNURG: Oh for the love of Spira! ...We'll just introduce or next guest! She's grumpy, wears black, and loves to play with Barbies!...LuLu!
LuLu: I take offense to that last statement! *Sits down at chair labeled -BELTGERL-* By the way, what is this "Barbie" of which you speak?
ODNURG: Evil toy that controls the minds of children...anyway I appologize for my staff *cough* Macabre *cough* who has no taste in video games...
LuLu: Yes, I heard you backstage...
ODNURG: Did you now? Well, anyways, you and Wakka going out?
LuLu: WHAT?! W-What made you think that?
ODNURG: *Grins and hands LuLu a copy of FFX-2* Heh-heh, sounds to me like you two-
LuLu: >.> You don't want to finish that sentence...
ODNURG: *Sly grin* Do I?
LuLu: *Anger* >.> *Pulls out dagger*
-COMMERCIAL-
LuLu: *Is tied to a tree*
ODNURG: *gasping for eir* Next...guest!
Wakka: *Walks out and looks for chair* Um...where's my seat?
ODNURG: YOU don't get one. >.>
Wakka: *Shrugs* Hey, did you know that if you that the "G" out of guest and replace it with a "Q" it would say quest?
ODNURG: >.> Really now... *Pulls secret lever dropping Wakka out of building*
Wakka: Gotta blitz! *Falls*
ODNURG: >.> That's why I didn't bother to give hima seat...next guests!
Yuna and Tidus: *Hurry on stage holding hands and notices the chair labeled-LUV BERDS-* Uh...
ODNURG: I apologize yet again for my staff *Cough* Macabre *Cough* who just can't seem to come up with funny names to call you! *Glares back stage*
Yuna: Why do we only have one chair?
ODNURG: You're a couple...share. You know..."Sharing"? The only thing they teach you from Kindergarten to 8th grade?
Tidue: *Glances at remaining chairs labeled -GOGGLEGURL- and VODKAGUD4U-* Why can't I sit in one of those chairs?
Yuna: Yeah! *Sits in the -GOGGLEGURL- chair*
ODNURG: *anger* NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE! *Lunges at Yuna and Tidus*
-COMMERCIAL-
SquareEnix Represenative: *Anger* SEE YOU IN COURT!!! *storms out*
ODNURG: GOOD! MY LAWYER WILL CRUSH YOURS! *Fuming*
Max: Must I be the janitor?! *Sweeps up bodily fluids*
ODNURG: Next guest!
Auron: *Sits in chair* I know I know, crappy staff *cough* Macabre *cough* right?
ODNURG: ...fine wise-BLEEP- ruin my open line why don't yah!
Auron: *shrugs*
ODNURG: ...-BLEEP- you Durran and your poor excuse of RPing!
Auron: ...I am a bit out of character aren't I?
ODNURG: *stares* Yup...
Auron: Alright than...*Gets up* I'll just report this so then SquareEnix will have a stronger case against you! ^^
ODNURG: *Breaks pencil in half* You better leave before I do something that even my lawyer won't be able to cover up!
Auron: O.O *Walks backward quickly*
ODNURG: *Mutters* Someday the whole world shall fear me once I take over comcast and rule the world! *Notices camera*
-COMMERCIAL-
ODNURG: *Pays off M.I.B Representative*
M.I.B. Representative: B) Any time! *Leaves*
Audience: *dazed look*
ODNURG: *suddenly cheery voice* And....we save the best for last! Heeeeeeeere's Rikku!
Rikku: w00t! *Sits in chair*
ODNURG: ^^ Walmart!
Rikku: ^^ BOOM!
ODNURG: Sears?
Rikku: Been there done that!
ODNURG: Good one! ^^
Audience: *Is lost*
Max: ...that's all for today...see yah next week!
Rikku: Bevelle?
ODNURG: ^^ BOOM!
END
((Proudly Plagerized in 2003))
Announcer Dude: Heeeeeeeeeeres ODNURG!
ODNURG: *Runs onstage* Heeeeeeellooooooo Portavyon! And welcome to my show! -Bleep- straight it's my show! *Sits down at desk labeled -ODNURG SHO-* What the-? I was bleeped! Hey! This is PG-13! I can swear! GRUNDO! Turn off your censors! This is my show! MY SHOW!
ODNURG: *Sits back down, hair messy and blood coming from paper-cut* I'M SUE'IN YOU, YA LITTLE TWIRP! *Notices cameras on* Uh, um, ok then! Todays quests are the cast of Final Fantasy X! First up is the loveable fuzzball Kimarhi Ronso!
Kimarhi: *Walks on stage and sits in chair next to desk labeled -BLUEBOI-*
ODNURG: Uhm...I appologize about the chair...my staff *Cough* Macabre *Cough* does not appreciate fine video game characters.
Kimarhi: *blinks*
ODNURG: *leans closer* Why don't you talk?
Kimarhi: ...
ODNURG: Why do you have a small horn?
Kimarhi: ...
ODNURG: *anger* This is an interview! You're supposed to answer the questions!
Kimarhi: The essence of the mind can only be acheived by silence. *Copyright*
ODNURG: >.> That is some strange Voodoo -BLEEP- man! ...Wha--BLEEP- you Grundo! -BLEEP- you!
Kimarhi: ...
ODNURG: Oh for the love of Spira! ...We'll just introduce or next guest! She's grumpy, wears black, and loves to play with Barbies!...LuLu!
LuLu: I take offense to that last statement! *Sits down at chair labeled -BELTGERL-* By the way, what is this "Barbie" of which you speak?
ODNURG: Evil toy that controls the minds of children...anyway I appologize for my staff *cough* Macabre *cough* who has no taste in video games...
LuLu: Yes, I heard you backstage...
ODNURG: Did you now? Well, anyways, you and Wakka going out?
LuLu: WHAT?! W-What made you think that?
ODNURG: *Grins and hands LuLu a copy of FFX-2* Heh-heh, sounds to me like you two-
LuLu: >.> You don't want to finish that sentence...
ODNURG: *Sly grin* Do I?
LuLu: *Anger* >.> *Pulls out dagger*
LuLu: *Is tied to a tree*
ODNURG: *gasping for eir* Next...guest!
Wakka: *Walks out and looks for chair* Um...where's my seat?
ODNURG: YOU don't get one. >.>
Wakka: *Shrugs* Hey, did you know that if you that the "G" out of guest and replace it with a "Q" it would say quest?
ODNURG: >.> Really now... *Pulls secret lever dropping Wakka out of building*
Wakka: Gotta blitz! *Falls*
ODNURG: >.> That's why I didn't bother to give hima seat...next guests!
Yuna and Tidus: *Hurry on stage holding hands and notices the chair labeled-LUV BERDS-* Uh...
ODNURG: I apologize yet again for my staff *Cough* Macabre *Cough* who just can't seem to come up with funny names to call you! *Glares back stage*
Yuna: Why do we only have one chair?
ODNURG: You're a couple...share. You know..."Sharing"? The only thing they teach you from Kindergarten to 8th grade?
Tidue: *Glances at remaining chairs labeled -GOGGLEGURL- and VODKAGUD4U-* Why can't I sit in one of those chairs?
Yuna: Yeah! *Sits in the -GOGGLEGURL- chair*
ODNURG: *anger* NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE! *Lunges at Yuna and Tidus*
SquareEnix Represenative: *Anger* SEE YOU IN COURT!!! *storms out*
ODNURG: GOOD! MY LAWYER WILL CRUSH YOURS! *Fuming*
Max: Must I be the janitor?! *Sweeps up bodily fluids*
ODNURG: Next guest!
Auron: *Sits in chair* I know I know, crappy staff *cough* Macabre *cough* right?
ODNURG: ...fine wise-BLEEP- ruin my open line why don't yah!
Auron: *shrugs*
ODNURG: ...-BLEEP- you Durran and your poor excuse of RPing!
Auron: ...I am a bit out of character aren't I?
ODNURG: *stares* Yup...
Auron: Alright than...*Gets up* I'll just report this so then SquareEnix will have a stronger case against you! ^^
ODNURG: *Breaks pencil in half* You better leave before I do something that even my lawyer won't be able to cover up!
Auron: O.O *Walks backward quickly*
ODNURG: *Mutters* Someday the whole world shall fear me once I take over comcast and rule the world! *Notices camera*
ODNURG: *Pays off M.I.B Representative*
M.I.B. Representative: B) Any time! *Leaves*
Audience: *dazed look*
ODNURG: *suddenly cheery voice* And....we save the best for last! Heeeeeeeere's Rikku!
Rikku: w00t! *Sits in chair*
ODNURG: ^^ Walmart!
Rikku: ^^ BOOM!
ODNURG: Sears?
Rikku: Been there done that!
ODNURG: Good one! ^^
Audience: *Is lost*
Max: ...that's all for today...see yah next week!
Rikku: Bevelle?
ODNURG: ^^ BOOM!
END
((Proudly Plagerized in 2003))
The Yuna Show? (An FFS)
Rikku: Guess what peoples? Cid is gone! Bei-bei!
Audience: *Loud cheer*
Scene: *Tidey comes on stage dragging the telephone by the cord*
Tidey: Ands I gets to answer the Tele!
Yuna: *Sits behind a giant desk labeled THE FINAL FANTASY SHOW* I'll be the host, I've had experience with these idiots before...
Tidey: ^^ *Waveys*
Wakka: *Appears on stage* In fact, The Yuna Show is back in action!
RikkuL Whooo! Yunie, this will be fun!
Yuna: Yup! Only FFX-FFX-2 allowed!
Sephiroth: Say what?
Tidey: Yous can't bes here!
Sephiroth: *Dyes hair black and takes out a moogle doll* There! I'm LuLu!
Rikku: Works for me!
INCOMPLETE
Audience: *Loud cheer*
Scene: *Tidey comes on stage dragging the telephone by the cord*
Tidey: Ands I gets to answer the Tele!
Yuna: *Sits behind a giant desk labeled THE FINAL FANTASY SHOW* I'll be the host, I've had experience with these idiots before...
Tidey: ^^ *Waveys*
Wakka: *Appears on stage* In fact, The Yuna Show is back in action!
RikkuL Whooo! Yunie, this will be fun!
Yuna: Yup! Only FFX-FFX-2 allowed!
Sephiroth: Say what?
Tidey: Yous can't bes here!
Sephiroth: *Dyes hair black and takes out a moogle doll* There! I'm LuLu!
Rikku: Works for me!
INCOMPLETE
Barfight (An FFS)
.......
Stage Director: Ah, where's Cid?
.......
Stage Director: ....Scratch that...where's everyone else?
~~~
Off in a local bar...
Scene: *A large banner with the words "We survived the critics!" hung above the bar*
Auron: *Gulps down tank full of vodka*
Cid: *Stands infront of camera flailing arms* Hello, folks! Today on...
High pitched godly voice: THE FINAL FANTASY SHOW!
Cid: We have been rather forced to...
Scene: *Camera shifts over to show a squirrel waving a shotgun at the camera before panning back onto Cid*
Cid: Take this show on a field trip to the zoo-er I mean- local bar!
Auron: *Falls off stool*
Tidey: Ands I get to interviewy!
Cid: .....yes...well...whatever. It's not my paycheck going down the drain...
Tidey: So...Auron, what's it like bein' drunk and all?
Auron: *Slurrs* Fuzzy bunnies.
Tidey: What's dis bar like?
Auron: mkr...BEAVERS AN'DUCKS!!!
Tidey: ^^ I thought so! *Giggles like manical little girl*
Bartender: 'Ey! Yous guys buyin'?
Cid: Uh....what?
Bartender: Only, you guys gotta pay for drink an' me letin' go!
Cid: I swear he's not speakin' English...
Bartender: Shut up Baldy!
Cid: Baldy?! I'll have you know I had a beard once! Very bushy...
Bartender: Eisers yous and siver'aired sissy readin' CoverGirl leave, or I force yah to pay me moulah!
Sephiroth: Excuse me?! *Tosses CoverGirl magazine aside*
Bartender: Ey! You heard me ye ol' Momma's boy!
Sephiroth: TAKE THAT BACK!
Bartender: That o' threat? 'cause my lawyer will...
Crowd: Bar fight! Bar fight! BAR FIGHT!
Cid: Uh....well that's all for today so see yah....ACK! *Gets hit in the head with a vodke bottle*
Auron: SCORE! *passes out*
END?
((ESt. 2003))
Stage Director: Ah, where's Cid?
.......
Stage Director: ....Scratch that...where's everyone else?
~~~
Off in a local bar...
Scene: *A large banner with the words "We survived the critics!" hung above the bar*
Auron: *Gulps down tank full of vodka*
Cid: *Stands infront of camera flailing arms* Hello, folks! Today on...
High pitched godly voice: THE FINAL FANTASY SHOW!
Cid: We have been rather forced to...
Scene: *Camera shifts over to show a squirrel waving a shotgun at the camera before panning back onto Cid*
Cid: Take this show on a field trip to the zoo-er I mean- local bar!
Auron: *Falls off stool*
Tidey: Ands I get to interviewy!
Cid: .....yes...well...whatever. It's not my paycheck going down the drain...
Tidey: So...Auron, what's it like bein' drunk and all?
Auron: *Slurrs* Fuzzy bunnies.
Tidey: What's dis bar like?
Auron: mkr...BEAVERS AN'DUCKS!!!
Tidey: ^^ I thought so! *Giggles like manical little girl*
Bartender: 'Ey! Yous guys buyin'?
Cid: Uh....what?
Bartender: Only, you guys gotta pay for drink an' me letin' go!
Cid: I swear he's not speakin' English...
Bartender: Shut up Baldy!
Cid: Baldy?! I'll have you know I had a beard once! Very bushy...
Bartender: Eisers yous and siver'aired sissy readin' CoverGirl leave, or I force yah to pay me moulah!
Sephiroth: Excuse me?! *Tosses CoverGirl magazine aside*
Bartender: Ey! You heard me ye ol' Momma's boy!
Sephiroth: TAKE THAT BACK!
Bartender: That o' threat? 'cause my lawyer will...
Crowd: Bar fight! Bar fight! BAR FIGHT!
Cid: Uh....well that's all for today so see yah....ACK! *Gets hit in the head with a vodke bottle*
Auron: SCORE! *passes out*
END?
((ESt. 2003))
Great Balls of Fire! (An FFS)
Cid:Heelloo, everybody!
Fake Audience: ......
Cid: .......HELLO,EVERYBODY!
Fake Audience: .....*Fake cough*
Cid: Bouncers! Bounce them!
Scene: *Kimarhi and Kuja pludge into Fake Audience raging war on the seat cushions*
Fake Audience: .....*Fake scream*
Cid: Hello, TV viewers! Today is the first episode of...
High pitched godly voice: The Final Fantasy Show!
Scene: *Zell comes running on stage with his hair on fire*
Zell: AHHHHHHHH!
Sephiroth:*Looks up from Cosmogirl* Hey, Chicken-wuss! You're not supposed to be on with a head full of fire 'til AFTER the radioactive squirrel comes on.
Zell: HEEEEEEELP! *Runs around circles making fire grow larger*
Kuja: Stop, drop, an' roll!
Zell: *Stops, drops, and rolls...nothing happening*
Kuja: Hmm...always worked on TV...
Scene: *Rikku comes swinging onto the stage from a tarzan vine that just happens to be there and plops on stage*
Rikku: Ta-Da! Squirt gun! *Takes out little plastic orange squirt gun*
Sephiroth: Yeah...we're saved....*Goes back to magazine*
Cid: Quick! Spray it!
Rikku: *Sprays Zell with little squirt gun*
Scene: *Zell's whole body is swallowed in flames*
Rikku: *Blinkus* Oh...yeah...I like...filled it with...gasoline lastnight...in that...er...voo-dooish ritual...
Cid: *pushes Rikku out of the way* Quick, Zell! Hold your breathe while gulping three times!
Zell: *Does*
Cid: Oh wait...that's the cure for hic-ups...
Sephiroth: Oh for the love of- COMMERICIAL!
~~~~~~~~~~
ALL OF YOU STUPID PEOPLE BETTER BUY CHOCOBO PASTE!
Announcer by Milton Bradly
~~~~~~~~~~
Scene: *Wakka is sweeping up a large pile of ashes and Rikku is tied to a tree that just happens to be there on stage*
Cid: Well that's all for today! See you next week on...
High pitched godly voice: The Final Fantasy Show!
Cid: Bye!
END?
((Est. 2003))
Fake Audience: ......
Cid: .......HELLO,EVERYBODY!
Fake Audience: .....*Fake cough*
Cid: Bouncers! Bounce them!
Scene: *Kimarhi and Kuja pludge into Fake Audience raging war on the seat cushions*
Fake Audience: .....*Fake scream*
Cid: Hello, TV viewers! Today is the first episode of...
High pitched godly voice: The Final Fantasy Show!
Scene: *Zell comes running on stage with his hair on fire*
Zell: AHHHHHHHH!
Sephiroth:*Looks up from Cosmogirl* Hey, Chicken-wuss! You're not supposed to be on with a head full of fire 'til AFTER the radioactive squirrel comes on.
Zell: HEEEEEEELP! *Runs around circles making fire grow larger*
Kuja: Stop, drop, an' roll!
Zell: *Stops, drops, and rolls...nothing happening*
Kuja: Hmm...always worked on TV...
Scene: *Rikku comes swinging onto the stage from a tarzan vine that just happens to be there and plops on stage*
Rikku: Ta-Da! Squirt gun! *Takes out little plastic orange squirt gun*
Sephiroth: Yeah...we're saved....*Goes back to magazine*
Cid: Quick! Spray it!
Rikku: *Sprays Zell with little squirt gun*
Scene: *Zell's whole body is swallowed in flames*
Rikku: *Blinkus* Oh...yeah...I like...filled it with...gasoline lastnight...in that...er...voo-dooish ritual...
Cid: *pushes Rikku out of the way* Quick, Zell! Hold your breathe while gulping three times!
Zell: *Does*
Cid: Oh wait...that's the cure for hic-ups...
Sephiroth: Oh for the love of- COMMERICIAL!
~~~~~~~~~~
ALL OF YOU STUPID PEOPLE BETTER BUY CHOCOBO PASTE!
Announcer by Milton Bradly
~~~~~~~~~~
Scene: *Wakka is sweeping up a large pile of ashes and Rikku is tied to a tree that just happens to be there on stage*
Cid: Well that's all for today! See you next week on...
High pitched godly voice: The Final Fantasy Show!
Cid: Bye!
END?
((Est. 2003))
The Final Fantasy Show Crew
((List of cast members))
Cid: Host (Uh...he usually gets over thrown!)
Sephiroth: Cameraguy
Kimarhi and Kuja: Bouncers
Auron: Local Drunk
Rikku: Town Idiot (Still my favorite!)
Tidey AKA Tidus: Obsessed pixie stix supporter
Zell: Hairstylest
Cloud: Make-up Artist
Yuna: Medic (Sooner or later will be constantly on)
LuLu: Professional doll collector
Wakka: Janitor
((Estimated date of writing 2002-2003))
Cid: Host (Uh...he usually gets over thrown!)
Sephiroth: Cameraguy
Kimarhi and Kuja: Bouncers
Auron: Local Drunk
Rikku: Town Idiot (Still my favorite!)
Tidey AKA Tidus: Obsessed pixie stix supporter
Zell: Hairstylest
Cloud: Make-up Artist
Yuna: Medic (Sooner or later will be constantly on)
LuLu: Professional doll collector
Wakka: Janitor
((Estimated date of writing 2002-2003))
An introduction in due course...
Hi, if you're reading this you probably have the wrong site. Make sure to check the address bar for any typos and quietly navigate yourself to your desired destination. Thank you!
Moving on for those of you (me) who wanted to be here, I have found it necessary to collaborate all of the little things I used to write when I was a youngin' into blog form. Through the years I've been writing in school notebooks, and as I eventually want to go back and read all of them it gets a bit hectic trying to find a certain notebook or story when you have no idea where it actually is in the first place.
For example, recently I've been trying to find a long complicated extreme fanfic cross-over that I wrote for myself forever ago and I've been meaning to add on to just for fun, and to write for the sake of writing. Unfortunately, it's in a superman notebook from 2006 and I have no idea where it got itself too. So I am without.
However, I've found little scripts that are similar as such and I feel the need to post them because they make me feel all nice and warm with the lovely memories. I hope to keep writing off of all of these, and perhaps write up on different characters that I've introduced in my life and reflect on just what the hell was I doing in school. (No wonder my grades weren't as great as they could have been.)
So without further ado, I will be posting little snipits (With comments of course, otherwise who the hell would know what is going on?) and hopefully I'll find the story I was looking for and keeping writing off of it since it was practically my mind at play in writers form.
Enjoy, and sorry if this is the wrong place and I hope you find the correct web domain.
ODNURG/Grundo/ESOD/Sith Moomba
Who are all really entities of,
Sophia
Moving on for those of you (me) who wanted to be here, I have found it necessary to collaborate all of the little things I used to write when I was a youngin' into blog form. Through the years I've been writing in school notebooks, and as I eventually want to go back and read all of them it gets a bit hectic trying to find a certain notebook or story when you have no idea where it actually is in the first place.
For example, recently I've been trying to find a long complicated extreme fanfic cross-over that I wrote for myself forever ago and I've been meaning to add on to just for fun, and to write for the sake of writing. Unfortunately, it's in a superman notebook from 2006 and I have no idea where it got itself too. So I am without.
However, I've found little scripts that are similar as such and I feel the need to post them because they make me feel all nice and warm with the lovely memories. I hope to keep writing off of all of these, and perhaps write up on different characters that I've introduced in my life and reflect on just what the hell was I doing in school. (No wonder my grades weren't as great as they could have been.)
So without further ado, I will be posting little snipits (With comments of course, otherwise who the hell would know what is going on?) and hopefully I'll find the story I was looking for and keeping writing off of it since it was practically my mind at play in writers form.
Enjoy, and sorry if this is the wrong place and I hope you find the correct web domain.
ODNURG/Grundo/ESOD/Sith Moomba
Who are all really entities of,
Sophia
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